YES!!! IT'S UP. A SUCCESS MY FRIENDS!!
After 2 hours of slogging away in front of my computer... It has finally come to us!!
Oh all the glory of the 4th movement and its fireworks in a fast, dance like theme! Exactly apt for a festive mood as such of now, the past Christmas and the arriving new year!
Do enjoy the technical perfection of Heifetz. And the music. The music!!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
I know its long overdue... I want to give you all the 4th movement of scottish fantasy too. And after that Brahm's Tragic Overture. Another great piece by my standards.
Anyway. I've been using the comp trying to find a good domain to upload great music.
In the meantime enjoy the 3rd movement, it really is good. I've been thinking it a sad piece, you know. But if you look a bit deeper and play around with it in your mind you realise that it is up to the perceiver to tell if its agonizing or joyous. I realised that one day on the MRT when I forced myself to smile to the music.
It sounded happy. So happy. Its a great piece in that sense. I wonder how many of you can actually see the happiness lurking within?
Yesterday...
Went to the treetop walk with parents.. Well... We went at the wrong time. It was incredibly hot with the sun burning down on us, especially with open stretches of gravel to tread through. So walked and walked we did. There was this stream beside for some time and it looked absolutely fabulous. Clear running water where you could see the bottom, with the pond skaters and little fish. Hahaha, cute. And we saw this grave. Great place to be buried at, I must say.
So we walked really far and finally got to the tree top walk. Well there were a lotta niosy honky people and little kids around. A real pity. The wildlife would have run separating from us a radius of 5km. Bleaurgh. There're so many animals to look at! Except they're all run away with their incessant bawling and stomping around. At least saw cute monitor lizards and other birds and squirrels. The usual. And there was this monkey sitting right at the rail of a flight of steps, like he owned the whole place, surveying us as we walked in single file past him, as if bestowing us permission to enter his domain. As if we needed it too. Hahaha!
Anyway. The whole treetop thing is only 250m. But the problem there's NO backtracking. So you have to make one whole big round later to get back to square 1 that's around 3km. Yep.
That's all about yesterday folks.
Anyway. I've been using the comp trying to find a good domain to upload great music.
In the meantime enjoy the 3rd movement, it really is good. I've been thinking it a sad piece, you know. But if you look a bit deeper and play around with it in your mind you realise that it is up to the perceiver to tell if its agonizing or joyous. I realised that one day on the MRT when I forced myself to smile to the music.
It sounded happy. So happy. Its a great piece in that sense. I wonder how many of you can actually see the happiness lurking within?
Yesterday...
Went to the treetop walk with parents.. Well... We went at the wrong time. It was incredibly hot with the sun burning down on us, especially with open stretches of gravel to tread through. So walked and walked we did. There was this stream beside for some time and it looked absolutely fabulous. Clear running water where you could see the bottom, with the pond skaters and little fish. Hahaha, cute. And we saw this grave. Great place to be buried at, I must say.
So we walked really far and finally got to the tree top walk. Well there were a lotta niosy honky people and little kids around. A real pity. The wildlife would have run separating from us a radius of 5km. Bleaurgh. There're so many animals to look at! Except they're all run away with their incessant bawling and stomping around. At least saw cute monitor lizards and other birds and squirrels. The usual. And there was this monkey sitting right at the rail of a flight of steps, like he owned the whole place, surveying us as we walked in single file past him, as if bestowing us permission to enter his domain. As if we needed it too. Hahaha!
Anyway. The whole treetop thing is only 250m. But the problem there's NO backtracking. So you have to make one whole big round later to get back to square 1 that's around 3km. Yep.
That's all about yesterday folks.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Continuing from the previous post...
Yep. Ms Cheong was watching days of our lives at that time, and I was told that if that show were to be played from Mondays to Fridays or one hour sessions, it'd last for 39years or something like that. Anyhow, whatever it is, he point is that its a dumb, boring show that you shouldn't care about watching unless you want to spend a quarter of your life rotting away. Hahaha... We can see how bored Ms Choeng was then, huh. Hahaha...
So by that time it was already about 6. Only Lenard, Zara, Joanne, Alan and Wen Yi were alive by then... And maybe Ms Cheong, still watching days of our lives. Hur hur. Alan and Joanne had plans about going macs or something but soon Joanne knocked out... Wen Yi was leaving at 7 and I wanted to see her off but just couldn't take it... Fell asleep on the corridor!!! Hahaha! Then crawled off to a bed and slept off.
FRIDAY
Woke up and had all my stuff packed. Got Mrs Wong to cook instant tom yam mee for me!! Hahaha! Kept bugging her and giving compliments about her until she did. =D So we all said our goodbyes and I left together with Lenard, Alan and Zhaohan again to take a cab. Missed the shuttle bus out, so walked all the way out to downtown east to cab. Some of the others like Ming Tse, Zara those people went escape theme park. Hahaha. So energetic. I was half dead by then.
Went home put my stuff away and slept away. Woke only for meals and slept it off.
SATURDAY
Christmas eve. Went to grandma's house in the evening for some chirstmas bash. Had good food!! And we played this IQ game thing. HAhaha.. My bro's so smart got so many right and I only barely scraped past a few. Heh heh. Ah well. I'm slow. Then I watched Robo Cop3 too, which was on star movies I think.
Then left, and I got a lift from dad to Saint Iggies!! Wanted to meet up with all my friends, but so many of them went to the earlier mass!! Bleah. And there were no seats... So guess what I did.
I skipped the whole thing and went Lenard's place which was only nearby! He was having some party that was really quite dead. The adults were talking and laughing and getting quite high, maybe with the aid of wine. Haha, no they weren't drunk though. The kids were just sitting in the living room watching Mr Q. Heh. Ah, at least better than standing outside a church for 2 hours. Went home soon after...
CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!
Ok, I didn't do much, except go out in the night to look at the party on Orchard road with my family... It was so incredibly crowded. Had dinner walked to Plaza Sing, then went home.
Great Christmas huh.
MONDAY
Went out in for lunch at J8 pastamania with the JC2 TCHS strings seniors. All going army!! Except Teng who is ALREADY inside hur hur hur!! Just talked, and caught up, cracking many jokes and having lots of fun. Heh heh. Wei Ming on Birdman's phone WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Then we went to Lenard's place for quartet!! Watched Lenith WOW for 1 hour before we realised Lenard's comp couldn't support the PDF file for the score so we couldn't print it. Went to Kevin's place, with Lenard's dad fetching us. SAME THING. So the 3 of them watched the Amadeus quartet DVD and admiring how good Norbert looked. Hee hee. I used the comp, installed Frozen Throne and played a bit. Hee.
Then they came over to my place and finally printed out all the scores and finally got to practice. So we crashed throught the piece, playing very badly in the process.
TUESDAY
Hmm... As far as I can remember, I didn't do much on this day... Oh. They TIGHTENED my braces and now they hurt and they're so scratchy and I absolutely hate them... Sigh!!! Actually it didn't hurt on that day. Only the days after did it really hurt...
WEDNESDAY
Went to P6 class chalet!! Hahaha... Got there and watched TV and they ate pizza for dinner as I watched. I'd had mine at home and anyway I couldn't eat even if I wanted to cuz my braces hurt so bad.
I started complaining about you can watch TV at home and you shouldn't do that when you're at a chalet. So we went out to the beach and hung around a bit. Victoria and Samantha left! Bleah. And Fang Xuan went back to the chalet to watch her show... -.- Haha... So we ended up telling lame jokes and playing "Bang bang bang who died"!!! HAhaha!! So funny to see all their expressions, hur hur! We were on the breakwater.
Then we went back, and played truth or dare. And we were doing really really crazy dares!! Like walking into the neighbour's place and pretending to be drunk. Singing at strangers and Yi Jie's was really really good. He jumped in front of a window and said "Carlsbeg; Part of the game" and some girl screamed. HAhahaha! So funny really. So everybody got their turn to do carzy stuff until me!! I didn't get picked and they agreed that the last person wouldn't have to humiliate himself. Me!! Beams! Divine intervention! But still, I went ahead and got high and decided to do one last crazy stunt with Hong Wei and Wei Xiong. We did a war cry and ran right into the basketball court where people were having a lovely, quiet game. Then we held hands and got into a circle and danced around going "wheeee!!!" They said it was the best stunt of the day and I'm fine with that. Retreated and played cards with Mervin, Wei xiong and Xuan Hong after that cuz the adrenaline rush wore off.
Haha!
Then went to the beach with Si Qian, Fang Xuan, Kai Xuan and Hong WEi. Walked off with Kai Xuan cuz she wanted to talk to me about some.... Private stuff. Which I agreed with as well. Sigh. We were on the breakwater.
Then Guang He popped into the two of us... And we had to help him to the other group at some other part of the beach. Started talking with the group there. Helped Guang He back. Some of us ended up watching Cats and Dogs on Kai Xuan's player, which got really, REALLY hot. Some others were at the beach. They came back and everybody started to nod off until only Kai Xuan and me were left watching TV. Realised Si Qian was missing and called her and found out she was walking around the estate. Both of us didn't want to sleep. At that time it was around... 4?
So we went... To that breakwater... Again. And both of us just talked abd caught up... It was quite nice, really. She slowly started to get sleepy and I wouldn't blame her. She was already the day before and hadn't slept for one day already. So I just let her sleep. There. Hahahaha! It was so sweet. And I started thinking again... Gazing at those constant blinking lights... That blue one on the island, and those red ones... And... Various thoughts came to me once again. Like those that came to me one week ago. At the same place... Only this time there were only the two of us... Somehow... It seemed that so much more was there. And she faded away from at my shoulder, and again I was alone. And I watched the passing aeroplanes fly and blink away into the distance... Each one with their own load, seemingly taking away what little that remained, leaving just me.. And my world. My constantly shrinking world, until it was me, and I, it. It grew a bit brighter, and I saw what I'd missed by leaving my friends, alone, one week ago. It was nothing much. But I guess my leaving meant a lot to me, signifying my eventual turning of back to certain things, for sense and duty. For things concrete and real, not thoser wavering and uncertain.
We left.
THURSDAY
I fell asleep on the bench in the pavillion outside the chalet. Woke up a little while after and bathed. A group of us went to downtown's macs for breakfast. Si Qian, Guang He, Xuan Hong, Koon Yu and me. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat macs, so I bought cup noodles from the cheers.
Walked back and slept.
Then we left. Took a photo, and missed that shuttle bus again cuz it was too full. So we walked. Again. In the blazing sun. Took an MRT to Bukit Batok, a bus, then I was home...
The moon and the stars are still shining right now over that breakwater... Where I spent a few nights of my life... It seems so... Familiar. Like home, where I lived in the world of my mind, only the sounds of the waters connecting me to the real world... I went there so many times, but I never grew tired of it. I wonder why. Maybe its that bond... That bond between me and parts of myself that I recognised on that breakwater. I learnt things there. And let go of others.
So that scene will always be with me. At least, it'll be with me for some time. The trees, the lights, the water.
Just me. And those special rocks.
Yep. Ms Cheong was watching days of our lives at that time, and I was told that if that show were to be played from Mondays to Fridays or one hour sessions, it'd last for 39years or something like that. Anyhow, whatever it is, he point is that its a dumb, boring show that you shouldn't care about watching unless you want to spend a quarter of your life rotting away. Hahaha... We can see how bored Ms Choeng was then, huh. Hahaha...
So by that time it was already about 6. Only Lenard, Zara, Joanne, Alan and Wen Yi were alive by then... And maybe Ms Cheong, still watching days of our lives. Hur hur. Alan and Joanne had plans about going macs or something but soon Joanne knocked out... Wen Yi was leaving at 7 and I wanted to see her off but just couldn't take it... Fell asleep on the corridor!!! Hahaha! Then crawled off to a bed and slept off.
FRIDAY
Woke up and had all my stuff packed. Got Mrs Wong to cook instant tom yam mee for me!! Hahaha! Kept bugging her and giving compliments about her until she did. =D So we all said our goodbyes and I left together with Lenard, Alan and Zhaohan again to take a cab. Missed the shuttle bus out, so walked all the way out to downtown east to cab. Some of the others like Ming Tse, Zara those people went escape theme park. Hahaha. So energetic. I was half dead by then.
Went home put my stuff away and slept away. Woke only for meals and slept it off.
SATURDAY
Christmas eve. Went to grandma's house in the evening for some chirstmas bash. Had good food!! And we played this IQ game thing. HAhaha.. My bro's so smart got so many right and I only barely scraped past a few. Heh heh. Ah well. I'm slow. Then I watched Robo Cop3 too, which was on star movies I think.
Then left, and I got a lift from dad to Saint Iggies!! Wanted to meet up with all my friends, but so many of them went to the earlier mass!! Bleah. And there were no seats... So guess what I did.
I skipped the whole thing and went Lenard's place which was only nearby! He was having some party that was really quite dead. The adults were talking and laughing and getting quite high, maybe with the aid of wine. Haha, no they weren't drunk though. The kids were just sitting in the living room watching Mr Q. Heh. Ah, at least better than standing outside a church for 2 hours. Went home soon after...
CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!
Ok, I didn't do much, except go out in the night to look at the party on Orchard road with my family... It was so incredibly crowded. Had dinner walked to Plaza Sing, then went home.
Great Christmas huh.
MONDAY
Went out in for lunch at J8 pastamania with the JC2 TCHS strings seniors. All going army!! Except Teng who is ALREADY inside hur hur hur!! Just talked, and caught up, cracking many jokes and having lots of fun. Heh heh. Wei Ming on Birdman's phone WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Then we went to Lenard's place for quartet!! Watched Lenith WOW for 1 hour before we realised Lenard's comp couldn't support the PDF file for the score so we couldn't print it. Went to Kevin's place, with Lenard's dad fetching us. SAME THING. So the 3 of them watched the Amadeus quartet DVD and admiring how good Norbert looked. Hee hee. I used the comp, installed Frozen Throne and played a bit. Hee.
Then they came over to my place and finally printed out all the scores and finally got to practice. So we crashed throught the piece, playing very badly in the process.
TUESDAY
Hmm... As far as I can remember, I didn't do much on this day... Oh. They TIGHTENED my braces and now they hurt and they're so scratchy and I absolutely hate them... Sigh!!! Actually it didn't hurt on that day. Only the days after did it really hurt...
WEDNESDAY
Went to P6 class chalet!! Hahaha... Got there and watched TV and they ate pizza for dinner as I watched. I'd had mine at home and anyway I couldn't eat even if I wanted to cuz my braces hurt so bad.
I started complaining about you can watch TV at home and you shouldn't do that when you're at a chalet. So we went out to the beach and hung around a bit. Victoria and Samantha left! Bleah. And Fang Xuan went back to the chalet to watch her show... -.- Haha... So we ended up telling lame jokes and playing "Bang bang bang who died"!!! HAhaha!! So funny to see all their expressions, hur hur! We were on the breakwater.
Then we went back, and played truth or dare. And we were doing really really crazy dares!! Like walking into the neighbour's place and pretending to be drunk. Singing at strangers and Yi Jie's was really really good. He jumped in front of a window and said "Carlsbeg; Part of the game" and some girl screamed. HAhahaha! So funny really. So everybody got their turn to do carzy stuff until me!! I didn't get picked and they agreed that the last person wouldn't have to humiliate himself. Me!! Beams! Divine intervention! But still, I went ahead and got high and decided to do one last crazy stunt with Hong Wei and Wei Xiong. We did a war cry and ran right into the basketball court where people were having a lovely, quiet game. Then we held hands and got into a circle and danced around going "wheeee!!!" They said it was the best stunt of the day and I'm fine with that. Retreated and played cards with Mervin, Wei xiong and Xuan Hong after that cuz the adrenaline rush wore off.
Haha!
Then went to the beach with Si Qian, Fang Xuan, Kai Xuan and Hong WEi. Walked off with Kai Xuan cuz she wanted to talk to me about some.... Private stuff. Which I agreed with as well. Sigh. We were on the breakwater.
Then Guang He popped into the two of us... And we had to help him to the other group at some other part of the beach. Started talking with the group there. Helped Guang He back. Some of us ended up watching Cats and Dogs on Kai Xuan's player, which got really, REALLY hot. Some others were at the beach. They came back and everybody started to nod off until only Kai Xuan and me were left watching TV. Realised Si Qian was missing and called her and found out she was walking around the estate. Both of us didn't want to sleep. At that time it was around... 4?
So we went... To that breakwater... Again. And both of us just talked abd caught up... It was quite nice, really. She slowly started to get sleepy and I wouldn't blame her. She was already the day before and hadn't slept for one day already. So I just let her sleep. There. Hahahaha! It was so sweet. And I started thinking again... Gazing at those constant blinking lights... That blue one on the island, and those red ones... And... Various thoughts came to me once again. Like those that came to me one week ago. At the same place... Only this time there were only the two of us... Somehow... It seemed that so much more was there. And she faded away from at my shoulder, and again I was alone. And I watched the passing aeroplanes fly and blink away into the distance... Each one with their own load, seemingly taking away what little that remained, leaving just me.. And my world. My constantly shrinking world, until it was me, and I, it. It grew a bit brighter, and I saw what I'd missed by leaving my friends, alone, one week ago. It was nothing much. But I guess my leaving meant a lot to me, signifying my eventual turning of back to certain things, for sense and duty. For things concrete and real, not thoser wavering and uncertain.
We left.
THURSDAY
I fell asleep on the bench in the pavillion outside the chalet. Woke up a little while after and bathed. A group of us went to downtown's macs for breakfast. Si Qian, Guang He, Xuan Hong, Koon Yu and me. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat macs, so I bought cup noodles from the cheers.
Walked back and slept.
Then we left. Took a photo, and missed that shuttle bus again cuz it was too full. So we walked. Again. In the blazing sun. Took an MRT to Bukit Batok, a bus, then I was home...
The moon and the stars are still shining right now over that breakwater... Where I spent a few nights of my life... It seems so... Familiar. Like home, where I lived in the world of my mind, only the sounds of the waters connecting me to the real world... I went there so many times, but I never grew tired of it. I wonder why. Maybe its that bond... That bond between me and parts of myself that I recognised on that breakwater. I learnt things there. And let go of others.
So that scene will always be with me. At least, it'll be with me for some time. The trees, the lights, the water.
Just me. And those special rocks.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Hey. There's been a long absence. But I've been caught up with a lot of things.... Heh heh. Well here goes....
(I wonder whether I'll have the opportunity to do this next year, typing my life down so that I can just look back and laugh and be amused. Heh.)
TUESDAY
Lenard came over in the morning to watch Amadeus quartet and pick the piece we would want to play. Just slacked around, watching videos of Heifetz power and all that.
Then. Off to the National Dental Center. And put on my braces. They made my mouth really dry so that the glue would stick. Used some vacuum to suck out saliva, applied some stuff and put gauze all over. Then glued on the brackets and strung on the wires and put on the separators... Then of course they plucked out one more tooth, and injecting that aenesthetic again. The needle seriously hurt. And then come the pliers... Tug tug tug. Poof. Out comes the tooth. Sigh! The braces don't hurt now. That's because they haven't tightened it. Yet. But god knows they're irritating the shit outta me. Heh. People said about ulcers, but I got very few... Still... AH!!! And yes its really hard to bite cuz these stupid metal things are restricting movement. Stinks. Yuck.
Went home and watched Kingdom of Heaven DVD that Lenard lent me. At least this ordeal wasn't as bad as the last
WEDNESDAY
Went for viola lesson at Newton. Ended like one hour late because Judy came late, and we talked alot during lesson anyway. She taught me this slow bow thing and it really really rocks. A lot of techniques are much easier now, and the sound projects much better! Rocks.
Went home to put down my viola and pick up my camp stuff. Had lunch. Then went to coronation to meet up with Lenard and Zhaohan. Wanted to LAN but there was no computers available so we went NTUC, bought instant mee and water and went ZH's house! Hahaha. Wanted to bond him there but didn't in the end. Went to his comp and started playing DOTA and getting killed over and over again. I blame it on the lag! Hahaha... Lenard was playing around with ZH's seal soft-toy. =D
Went out soon after and hopped onto the same cab as Alan. The cab dropped us off like outside downtown east. Apparently because the lazy driver didn't want to U-turn all the way out again??? Lazy!! Heh. So we walked for ages, feeling really hot, till we got to bungalow 15. Everybody was asking me, "Tiap Yang you put braces??" I unsuccessfully tried to lie my way out but coudn't. Everytime I opened my mouth to, those darned things gleamed out in the sunlight. Ah well. Joined some people to anyhow kick a soccer ball here and there. Then got together with my group members. Ah my first briefing was quite cheesy didn't know what to say... But luckily the ice was broken, people started clicking... It was by some magical touch of a divine being I must say, for this miracle to have happened. I was absolutely tongue tied, had no idea which sections the people were in, their schools or what I could talk with them about. But yeah had a lot of help from a couple of people. Tian Cheng the enthusiastic kid and Rachel who really gelled them together. Ah. Haha.
Anyway moving on we were the first to finish entanglement after that... And all the other station stuff, we didn't handle too badly. I took the food appreciation badly... Couldn't eat with braces on. Yep. Silence went so well!! Ike's attempts to make us laugh were incredibly lame and funny but not good enough. Haha... And there was the sing a song six pence... Sang old macdonald's farm and that chinese song about mothers being the greatest beings on earth? Heh.
Ah ah ah ah ah. I'm rambling. There really is so many mundane details I'm going through...
After came dinner, and we started walking around, going to the pool, sitting there talking, then going to the beach and stoning - talking. Had to leave and look after BoJun who was going around barefooted with his loyal clique of Jeremiah, and the Russian bros, they barefoot as well.. Only thing that ABJ was exposing his CHEST. Which was really sick and stupid tried telling him to put it on, of course I couldn't stop him. The joker still wanted to swim. Was really worried he'd do something really stupid and tagged around with him. Heh. As if taking off his shirt and parading in front of a group of girls wasn't stupid enough.
Okay, I'm not really anti-ABJ, its just that yes sometimes I find the things he does is really stupid. I think I can still be considered his friend, and really, it doesn't feel good when you see your friend doing stupid things like that and getting hated. Heh. AMPLIFY SHAMELESSNESS. Sorry I couldn't help but add that in. Inside joke.
I'm rambling... Just rambling.
After Jon Lee's speech that night, a big group of us went to the break water.. There we just sat and talked through the night. I guess there wasn't much in my head at the time.. I guess I was just one to enjoy the moments and not think too much. Floating bottles? Moving ships? Blinking lights? Company? Not knowing the things that one should do when confronted with things as such. Just gazing into seemingly endless blackness... The eyes and skies meld together, forming a void of emptiness... I wondered if there was anything concrete at all, in some things. But even if there were, so what, right? So what. I wonder if it will serve me better. Even concrete breaks and falls away. Some things don't, and I do wonder what they are, these things that stick with me at my side, like the endless sounds of the waves slapping away at the rocks... Thumping away in me deep inside... Is it just the heart playing tricks? Or are these things really taking their toll now more than ever... Everything seems harder and harder to step out of nowadays... Now that I've lost... It. Only I know what I've lost.
So sit there I did. And just immersed myself... Until sense got into me telling me to leave to get some sleep as the day after would be gruelling. I left. Alone. As I always have been and probably always will be. Of course noone will ever understand me more than myself... And even this understanding wanes time and again until... What's there to believe in this world if not myself? My empty principles, my many masks to hide... What truly lurks beneath... That monster that is myself. But whatever it is... A distance was kept that night. Between myself... And... The world?
DAY TWO (THURSDAY)
Woke up feeling really cold because I had blasted the aircon the previous night. Brushed my teeth and ate breakfast, then it was time to go to the Seminar Center... The SNYO excercise... It didn't turn out to be that boring and uneventful as I expected... There was the Brigg's personality test once again. And this time... I was a completely different person from when I took it one year ago. ESTJ. Yes. Perfectly what I'd want myself to be. At least the ideal self. To attain such a level of indifference... To be able to control everything that goes through my head to let nothing infiltrate the depths of my heart where black and white are mixed to from a confusing grey. Where passionate but wrong decisions are always made. Where objectiveness always leads to false highs and goals and dreams come crashing down in a confusing mess, wrecking lives and confidence needed to face endless mires of problems. Yes. To reach such a stage where I can think logically and sensibly in the face of everything. WOW. Hahaha. Utopian mind freak. Hahahaha.
Control. Total control. Of mind, heart and body.
Then we shared qualities among ourselves that we wanted to be remembered by... I think I did this one very badly. Hahaha. The words just didn't come out. But at least te group were quite understanding... Then we made a really funny collage!!! Of a midget violist!! Yay so fun and we put really funny captions like "One people One nation One Singapore" and other really funny stuff. Made an impromptu presentation and thank god it went well. So the whole excercise ended on a happy note.
Then it was lunch. We watched like batman and sesame street on cartoon network!! Oh my goodness so incredibly funny and we kept laughing at "number of the day" and "letter of the day" and all those funny funny things oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHH!!! HAhahahahaa!
Then it was time for more group games stuff. There was the life-size table soccer where I really screwed up SO SO SO BADLY that I really wanted to curl up and die on the spot, seriously!! Aiya. Keeper malu, shooting also malu. Heh heh. Argh. Excuse me while I bury my face in the mud.
Then we had the caterpillar minefield. Sherry chose a really really bad spot for my group to start. And they kept targetting my group to distract!! Ah well. Burst two in the end, but one wasn't counted because Ruo Lin wasn't even touching it and it went pop. HAha. But Sherry saw that uncanny thing too and let us off. So we burst one. ONE. So my group bombed me once. Then the whole world started bombing me. I didn't even hurt anyone!! They just kept coming, "Yaaahhhrrr Tiap Yang!!!!" SPLAT!! Hahahaha! Aiyo. Not that I minded cuz it was quite funny anyway. Alan kept wanting to target Renee I wonder why. Did a suicide together with Ike with Christine's LAST bomb which she kindly gave to me. Hahahaha. So funny. Then the whole thing just went on to people using pails and basins to drench everyone. Even Ms Cheong and Mrs Wong weren't spared. HAhaha! Mrs Wong didn't have a change of clothes so she wore Jipson's in the end...
HAHA!
Anyway after dinner a lot of people left. Yeah. Some stayed. Its like... I don't know. Quite drenching, anit-climatic but in the end... We still managed our fun. Went pooling. Ioannes was VERY pro along with Hazizi and the Russian bros... I was merely VERY VERY TYCO. Hahaha. Honestly. I don't play pool very much and my shots are all just lucky ones lah.
Then once again we went to that breakwater... I just kept stoning there. Thoughts were swirling around now. So much like the waves, never ceasing their churning. There were the blinking lights again. But they were always there weren't they? Andris sitting beside me noticed. Asked me what was the matter.. What was I to say? There was no matter. It's just all a mind thing, I tell myself all the time. Everything is a mind thing. I'm learning how to work all these things out... But anyway she was a great comfort, enjoyed poking each other's funny spots throughout the camp. So... I just told her... About that floating bottle.
Then we went back and played cards and I got high and started squealing in this funny western accent that people apparently found really amusing. HAhaha! Accents don't come naturally you have to practice! Yay. My talking to myself all the time finally paid off.
So we played until people got tired. Went around and looked for people still awake... Everybody was KO-ing until the room with The Quah bros, Jon Lee and Ming and Zhiwei. Soon after they knocked out too.
(to be continued)
HAVEN'T I TYPED ENOUGH FOR A DAY!???!
(I wonder whether I'll have the opportunity to do this next year, typing my life down so that I can just look back and laugh and be amused. Heh.)
TUESDAY
Lenard came over in the morning to watch Amadeus quartet and pick the piece we would want to play. Just slacked around, watching videos of Heifetz power and all that.
Then. Off to the National Dental Center. And put on my braces. They made my mouth really dry so that the glue would stick. Used some vacuum to suck out saliva, applied some stuff and put gauze all over. Then glued on the brackets and strung on the wires and put on the separators... Then of course they plucked out one more tooth, and injecting that aenesthetic again. The needle seriously hurt. And then come the pliers... Tug tug tug. Poof. Out comes the tooth. Sigh! The braces don't hurt now. That's because they haven't tightened it. Yet. But god knows they're irritating the shit outta me. Heh. People said about ulcers, but I got very few... Still... AH!!! And yes its really hard to bite cuz these stupid metal things are restricting movement. Stinks. Yuck.
Went home and watched Kingdom of Heaven DVD that Lenard lent me. At least this ordeal wasn't as bad as the last
WEDNESDAY
Went for viola lesson at Newton. Ended like one hour late because Judy came late, and we talked alot during lesson anyway. She taught me this slow bow thing and it really really rocks. A lot of techniques are much easier now, and the sound projects much better! Rocks.
Went home to put down my viola and pick up my camp stuff. Had lunch. Then went to coronation to meet up with Lenard and Zhaohan. Wanted to LAN but there was no computers available so we went NTUC, bought instant mee and water and went ZH's house! Hahaha. Wanted to bond him there but didn't in the end. Went to his comp and started playing DOTA and getting killed over and over again. I blame it on the lag! Hahaha... Lenard was playing around with ZH's seal soft-toy. =D
Went out soon after and hopped onto the same cab as Alan. The cab dropped us off like outside downtown east. Apparently because the lazy driver didn't want to U-turn all the way out again??? Lazy!! Heh. So we walked for ages, feeling really hot, till we got to bungalow 15. Everybody was asking me, "Tiap Yang you put braces??" I unsuccessfully tried to lie my way out but coudn't. Everytime I opened my mouth to, those darned things gleamed out in the sunlight. Ah well. Joined some people to anyhow kick a soccer ball here and there. Then got together with my group members. Ah my first briefing was quite cheesy didn't know what to say... But luckily the ice was broken, people started clicking... It was by some magical touch of a divine being I must say, for this miracle to have happened. I was absolutely tongue tied, had no idea which sections the people were in, their schools or what I could talk with them about. But yeah had a lot of help from a couple of people. Tian Cheng the enthusiastic kid and Rachel who really gelled them together. Ah. Haha.
Anyway moving on we were the first to finish entanglement after that... And all the other station stuff, we didn't handle too badly. I took the food appreciation badly... Couldn't eat with braces on. Yep. Silence went so well!! Ike's attempts to make us laugh were incredibly lame and funny but not good enough. Haha... And there was the sing a song six pence... Sang old macdonald's farm and that chinese song about mothers being the greatest beings on earth? Heh.
Ah ah ah ah ah. I'm rambling. There really is so many mundane details I'm going through...
After came dinner, and we started walking around, going to the pool, sitting there talking, then going to the beach and stoning - talking. Had to leave and look after BoJun who was going around barefooted with his loyal clique of Jeremiah, and the Russian bros, they barefoot as well.. Only thing that ABJ was exposing his CHEST. Which was really sick and stupid tried telling him to put it on, of course I couldn't stop him. The joker still wanted to swim. Was really worried he'd do something really stupid and tagged around with him. Heh. As if taking off his shirt and parading in front of a group of girls wasn't stupid enough.
Okay, I'm not really anti-ABJ, its just that yes sometimes I find the things he does is really stupid. I think I can still be considered his friend, and really, it doesn't feel good when you see your friend doing stupid things like that and getting hated. Heh. AMPLIFY SHAMELESSNESS. Sorry I couldn't help but add that in. Inside joke.
I'm rambling... Just rambling.
After Jon Lee's speech that night, a big group of us went to the break water.. There we just sat and talked through the night. I guess there wasn't much in my head at the time.. I guess I was just one to enjoy the moments and not think too much. Floating bottles? Moving ships? Blinking lights? Company? Not knowing the things that one should do when confronted with things as such. Just gazing into seemingly endless blackness... The eyes and skies meld together, forming a void of emptiness... I wondered if there was anything concrete at all, in some things. But even if there were, so what, right? So what. I wonder if it will serve me better. Even concrete breaks and falls away. Some things don't, and I do wonder what they are, these things that stick with me at my side, like the endless sounds of the waves slapping away at the rocks... Thumping away in me deep inside... Is it just the heart playing tricks? Or are these things really taking their toll now more than ever... Everything seems harder and harder to step out of nowadays... Now that I've lost... It. Only I know what I've lost.
So sit there I did. And just immersed myself... Until sense got into me telling me to leave to get some sleep as the day after would be gruelling. I left. Alone. As I always have been and probably always will be. Of course noone will ever understand me more than myself... And even this understanding wanes time and again until... What's there to believe in this world if not myself? My empty principles, my many masks to hide... What truly lurks beneath... That monster that is myself. But whatever it is... A distance was kept that night. Between myself... And... The world?
DAY TWO (THURSDAY)
Woke up feeling really cold because I had blasted the aircon the previous night. Brushed my teeth and ate breakfast, then it was time to go to the Seminar Center... The SNYO excercise... It didn't turn out to be that boring and uneventful as I expected... There was the Brigg's personality test once again. And this time... I was a completely different person from when I took it one year ago. ESTJ. Yes. Perfectly what I'd want myself to be. At least the ideal self. To attain such a level of indifference... To be able to control everything that goes through my head to let nothing infiltrate the depths of my heart where black and white are mixed to from a confusing grey. Where passionate but wrong decisions are always made. Where objectiveness always leads to false highs and goals and dreams come crashing down in a confusing mess, wrecking lives and confidence needed to face endless mires of problems. Yes. To reach such a stage where I can think logically and sensibly in the face of everything. WOW. Hahaha. Utopian mind freak. Hahahaha.
Control. Total control. Of mind, heart and body.
Then we shared qualities among ourselves that we wanted to be remembered by... I think I did this one very badly. Hahaha. The words just didn't come out. But at least te group were quite understanding... Then we made a really funny collage!!! Of a midget violist!! Yay so fun and we put really funny captions like "One people One nation One Singapore" and other really funny stuff. Made an impromptu presentation and thank god it went well. So the whole excercise ended on a happy note.
Then it was lunch. We watched like batman and sesame street on cartoon network!! Oh my goodness so incredibly funny and we kept laughing at "number of the day" and "letter of the day" and all those funny funny things oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHH!!! HAhahahahaa!
Then it was time for more group games stuff. There was the life-size table soccer where I really screwed up SO SO SO BADLY that I really wanted to curl up and die on the spot, seriously!! Aiya. Keeper malu, shooting also malu. Heh heh. Argh. Excuse me while I bury my face in the mud.
Then we had the caterpillar minefield. Sherry chose a really really bad spot for my group to start. And they kept targetting my group to distract!! Ah well. Burst two in the end, but one wasn't counted because Ruo Lin wasn't even touching it and it went pop. HAha. But Sherry saw that uncanny thing too and let us off. So we burst one. ONE. So my group bombed me once. Then the whole world started bombing me. I didn't even hurt anyone!! They just kept coming, "Yaaahhhrrr Tiap Yang!!!!" SPLAT!! Hahahaha! Aiyo. Not that I minded cuz it was quite funny anyway. Alan kept wanting to target Renee I wonder why. Did a suicide together with Ike with Christine's LAST bomb which she kindly gave to me. Hahahaha. So funny. Then the whole thing just went on to people using pails and basins to drench everyone. Even Ms Cheong and Mrs Wong weren't spared. HAhaha! Mrs Wong didn't have a change of clothes so she wore Jipson's in the end...
HAHA!
Anyway after dinner a lot of people left. Yeah. Some stayed. Its like... I don't know. Quite drenching, anit-climatic but in the end... We still managed our fun. Went pooling. Ioannes was VERY pro along with Hazizi and the Russian bros... I was merely VERY VERY TYCO. Hahaha. Honestly. I don't play pool very much and my shots are all just lucky ones lah.
Then once again we went to that breakwater... I just kept stoning there. Thoughts were swirling around now. So much like the waves, never ceasing their churning. There were the blinking lights again. But they were always there weren't they? Andris sitting beside me noticed. Asked me what was the matter.. What was I to say? There was no matter. It's just all a mind thing, I tell myself all the time. Everything is a mind thing. I'm learning how to work all these things out... But anyway she was a great comfort, enjoyed poking each other's funny spots throughout the camp. So... I just told her... About that floating bottle.
Then we went back and played cards and I got high and started squealing in this funny western accent that people apparently found really amusing. HAhaha! Accents don't come naturally you have to practice! Yay. My talking to myself all the time finally paid off.
So we played until people got tired. Went around and looked for people still awake... Everybody was KO-ing until the room with The Quah bros, Jon Lee and Ming and Zhiwei. Soon after they knocked out too.
(to be continued)
HAVEN'T I TYPED ENOUGH FOR A DAY!???!
Monday, December 19, 2005
Hello everyone.
FRIDAY
Nothing? Just pretty much lazed around at home? I think...
SATURDAY
Went out in the evening to watch the Prize Presentation of National Violin/Piano Competition. Wow. Hahaha. What can I say. The technique of every 1st prize winner was jaw-dropping, ages taken into account as well... Just only thing... It didn't give me those goosebumps you know. The goosebumps you get hearing the greats. Ah.
Better thing was hangin out later with Andris, Jun Hong, Zab and Jon Koh! Hahaha. The guys bought double scoops at haagen daaz again. Then we sat at water front at esplanade and just pretty much talked nonsense all the way. Went home pretty late, but mom didn't say much. Hahaha... Sigh. It was just great lah, ok? =D
SUNDAY
Went out the whole day. Church, then lunch. Then met Shaun and ZH at esplanade library. Borrowed EIGHT CDs. Woah. Hahaha. The library holiday plan thing? You can borrow twice as much with any lib card. Cool huh. Woots. Put the CDs into a macdonalds plastic bag when I bought a McFlurry. Haha!
Went to Bras Basah to buy DVDs again!! Hahaha. This time I got Ferras and Amadeus Quart and one more Israeli Phil. Rocks, gonna watch soon. Shaun went around looking for Christmas cards, and ZH bought Warcraft Battle Chest. Hur hur.
Then Shaun left for China Town, and the two of us went lanning, until I was nauseous. Hahaha. CS and DOTA again. 1 v 1. Ha! Ha! ZH left me behind for his Battle Chest and I went BT Market to eat dinner then went home.
Yep. Wanna go practice, compiling everything...
"I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to see me. But I guess all I have to say is that I couldn't let go. Ciao."
Hahaha! Ah. So hollywood-like. It just popped to mind as the bus passed that... Place. Other things surfaced as well. Both real and imaginary. Well, at least nobody knows what I'm talking about.
Haha.
CIAO.
FRIDAY
Nothing? Just pretty much lazed around at home? I think...
SATURDAY
Went out in the evening to watch the Prize Presentation of National Violin/Piano Competition. Wow. Hahaha. What can I say. The technique of every 1st prize winner was jaw-dropping, ages taken into account as well... Just only thing... It didn't give me those goosebumps you know. The goosebumps you get hearing the greats. Ah.
Better thing was hangin out later with Andris, Jun Hong, Zab and Jon Koh! Hahaha. The guys bought double scoops at haagen daaz again. Then we sat at water front at esplanade and just pretty much talked nonsense all the way. Went home pretty late, but mom didn't say much. Hahaha... Sigh. It was just great lah, ok? =D
SUNDAY
Went out the whole day. Church, then lunch. Then met Shaun and ZH at esplanade library. Borrowed EIGHT CDs. Woah. Hahaha. The library holiday plan thing? You can borrow twice as much with any lib card. Cool huh. Woots. Put the CDs into a macdonalds plastic bag when I bought a McFlurry. Haha!
Went to Bras Basah to buy DVDs again!! Hahaha. This time I got Ferras and Amadeus Quart and one more Israeli Phil. Rocks, gonna watch soon. Shaun went around looking for Christmas cards, and ZH bought Warcraft Battle Chest. Hur hur.
Then Shaun left for China Town, and the two of us went lanning, until I was nauseous. Hahaha. CS and DOTA again. 1 v 1. Ha! Ha! ZH left me behind for his Battle Chest and I went BT Market to eat dinner then went home.
Yep. Wanna go practice, compiling everything...
"I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to see me. But I guess all I have to say is that I couldn't let go. Ciao."
Hahaha! Ah. So hollywood-like. It just popped to mind as the bus passed that... Place. Other things surfaced as well. Both real and imaginary. Well, at least nobody knows what I'm talking about.
Haha.
CIAO.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Well lets cover a little more.
On Tuesday I woke up freaking tired. Cuz the night before I slept late watching a bit of the videos I bought.
Anyway we left to Harbour Front cuz we were going to take a ferry to Batam for a one day trip!! Hahaha. My family consisted of the entire "tour group"!! Hahaa, cool aint it. Its better cuz there's more freedom and absolutely no waiting around for bumbling fussy aunties with incredibly low capacity bladders. Heh heh. Ah well. Sounds mean....
But anyway we had breakfast there. It was expensive food. Then we waited a bit in the waiting area and got onto the ferry. I was tired and slept for a while. Then we went up onto the open deck to watch the scenery. I don't know why on earth my parents wanted to do that... There was nothing much to see anyway... And there were SMOKERS. And it stank like a kopitiam toilet, okayy... But ah well. We got there... And we met our tour guide and then we left! Whee hee. First we went to the Vietnam Village which was there when some Vietnamese refugees were escaping their communist regime. Was sleeping on out private van. Heh heh. Anyway. We saw their graves, their dilapidated houses, the ships they travelled away from their fatherland on, their temple and their catholic church. Really interesting. Pity it was all left to rot because the Vietnamese left already to their homeland already. Forced to move by the government. Yep. It was interesting.
Then we went for lunch! Seafood and goodness they gave so so so much. It was like a meal for 8, but me and bro and mom wiped off everything!!! Whoo it was quite nice really. Deep fried prawn, chilli crab, some shell fish calleg Gong-gong??? (GONG!!!!) Then chilli kang kong, and chilli sotong. Yup. A lotta a lotta chilli. So we were damn damn full. Heh heh.
Then we went to shop. And I bought two nice shirts. Yay!! My wardrobe sucks to the core man. Heh. Went to two shopping centres to shop.
Then it was home. Went to Bukit Timah market for a late dinner.
Ah ha it was fun. But I'd been eating so much nonsense. And I was getting damn fat, seriously. Hahha. And of course, I hadn't practiced for lesson...
WEDNESDAY
Nothing much, practice in the morning, then I went to the Hakka Metodist Church to meet with Judy. She was still teaching these two people.. Apparently one's from HCJC strings and another NYSE? Hahaha. Okay. I didn't recognize them at all lah. I don't know. Must be senility. Anyway then me and Judy went for lunch at United Square!! Pizza hut and once again ate until I was close to bursting. Hahahaha! Wah liao. For those few days I really was like a pig man, always eating. So I had a set meal, cuz its cheaper with the student offer. A Hawaiin and soup (cream of chicken!!!! always loved it since young) and a pepsi. Judy had sphagetti. And we ordered some munchies too. Haha has browns and onion rings and chicken wings. Damn nice! Hahaha.
Then of course we had lesson and we went through the nitty gritty stuff of Schubert. Phew! Hard work.
Went home and jogged. Ahahaha.
Nothing much happened yesterday. I went for lunch with family at this vegetarian buffet thing in Orchard. Pigging out again huh. And then went home, read book, practice.
Whee.
On Tuesday I woke up freaking tired. Cuz the night before I slept late watching a bit of the videos I bought.
Anyway we left to Harbour Front cuz we were going to take a ferry to Batam for a one day trip!! Hahaha. My family consisted of the entire "tour group"!! Hahaa, cool aint it. Its better cuz there's more freedom and absolutely no waiting around for bumbling fussy aunties with incredibly low capacity bladders. Heh heh. Ah well. Sounds mean....
But anyway we had breakfast there. It was expensive food. Then we waited a bit in the waiting area and got onto the ferry. I was tired and slept for a while. Then we went up onto the open deck to watch the scenery. I don't know why on earth my parents wanted to do that... There was nothing much to see anyway... And there were SMOKERS. And it stank like a kopitiam toilet, okayy... But ah well. We got there... And we met our tour guide and then we left! Whee hee. First we went to the Vietnam Village which was there when some Vietnamese refugees were escaping their communist regime. Was sleeping on out private van. Heh heh. Anyway. We saw their graves, their dilapidated houses, the ships they travelled away from their fatherland on, their temple and their catholic church. Really interesting. Pity it was all left to rot because the Vietnamese left already to their homeland already. Forced to move by the government. Yep. It was interesting.
Then we went for lunch! Seafood and goodness they gave so so so much. It was like a meal for 8, but me and bro and mom wiped off everything!!! Whoo it was quite nice really. Deep fried prawn, chilli crab, some shell fish calleg Gong-gong??? (GONG!!!!) Then chilli kang kong, and chilli sotong. Yup. A lotta a lotta chilli. So we were damn damn full. Heh heh.
Then we went to shop. And I bought two nice shirts. Yay!! My wardrobe sucks to the core man. Heh. Went to two shopping centres to shop.
Then it was home. Went to Bukit Timah market for a late dinner.
Ah ha it was fun. But I'd been eating so much nonsense. And I was getting damn fat, seriously. Hahha. And of course, I hadn't practiced for lesson...
WEDNESDAY
Nothing much, practice in the morning, then I went to the Hakka Metodist Church to meet with Judy. She was still teaching these two people.. Apparently one's from HCJC strings and another NYSE? Hahaha. Okay. I didn't recognize them at all lah. I don't know. Must be senility. Anyway then me and Judy went for lunch at United Square!! Pizza hut and once again ate until I was close to bursting. Hahahaha! Wah liao. For those few days I really was like a pig man, always eating. So I had a set meal, cuz its cheaper with the student offer. A Hawaiin and soup (cream of chicken!!!! always loved it since young) and a pepsi. Judy had sphagetti. And we ordered some munchies too. Haha has browns and onion rings and chicken wings. Damn nice! Hahaha.
Then of course we had lesson and we went through the nitty gritty stuff of Schubert. Phew! Hard work.
Went home and jogged. Ahahaha.
Nothing much happened yesterday. I went for lunch with family at this vegetarian buffet thing in Orchard. Pigging out again huh. And then went home, read book, practice.
Whee.
Hello. Things have been more packed for me recently, and its great!
I've changed to C-Box cuz I think tag-board is absolutely lousy! Also now its the 3rd movement of Scottish Fantasy. Don't want to have it analysed but its said to be the emotional climax of the piece, and I agree to it some what though I think the introduction to the first movement is more intense. But the intensity lasts for a longer period of time for this movement I guess. I quote my previous post, "The 3rd movement is so bitter-sweet! No not bitter... More of a sweet and... Sour taste. Like a graceful, dignified who has a flawless frame. The songs he sings are sweet but you can feel the longing and anguish tinged in the melodies... But he masks everything inside so well... He lets them go."
And also I quote Yefim Bronfman, "Music speaks for itself."
But you need the ears to here, and the knowledge to understand. Music is a language, like English, like CHINESE. If you suck at the language you won't understand its beauty! I'm learning the language everyday.
Anway.... All the way to... FRIDAY!!! Oh oh oh Christine and Eileen came over for badminton and tennis! Heh heh. Eileen got prevented from playing tennis though, because the guard saw she wasn't wearing shoes. She'd come in a skirt and slippers??? Hahaha, how to play right. Anyway, tennis for me was so screwed, absolutely don't know how to play, don't know how to control the ball and totally MISSED a few shots, embarrassing I tell you. Hahaha, I must have looked like a fool like all the tennis players in my condo generally are. Hahaha! And Christine was pro lah, purposely make those difficult shots I absolutely cannot catch, bleah. =P Haha, Eileen had to borrow her shoes and play.
At least badminton wasn't so bad. I didn't do too badly!! Heh! And now Eileen could play together too because it was an enclosed area, nobody can see she's playing with no shoes on! So we play play play until they went home lor, and that's that but really it was damn fun. =D And yeah like Chris said my jogging once in two days has paid off, I wasn't tired after everything!! =)
Later I had dinner with parents at Beauty World, and we went over to the field and saw these people playing with the remote-controlled kite-plane thingy that was really quite cool, flashing neon lights as they flew high in the air... Really really beautiful "stars". Dad was interested in playing, but it was not really cheap, and we needed lessons too, as the promoter was telling us, and well we can afford the money, but I can't afford the time. Haha. Practice practice! Heh.
Then I went for camp!!! Went in the night while they were playing some game that Trevor Sze made up and it looked really fun!! But I didn't play cuz I arrived so late!! So I just watched them play and have fun and have debrief that was quite long. Heh. It was funny, and people were having a great time. So that's good.
Then went back to the orch-room in TCHS and PRO-ED room to put my stuff, cuz the game thingy was held in NYGH. Then played a bit of viola and PASSACGLIA again with nick and of course LOTS AND LOTS of CARDS into the night!! Hahaha, whee. Got people to buy chips and we feasted!! So we slept at like 3 plus that night, with Dun Jie and us clinging onto each other for warmth in the middle of the night cuz it was so damn cold. Yeah. Ok. Maybe that looks gay, but what the hell. Warmth is more important. Besides, Alan and Albert's stunt was way way worse than ours. Haha! But I shall be nice and I won't mention, smiles sweetly.
Early the next morning Mrs Tay who was on the couch beside us threw us a much needed sleeping bag for a blanket and we were so thankful. Heh! So they all left for orchestra practice at NYGH while I stayed behind to sleep a bit more. Planned to practice, but with a comp in the room as well and complete privacy these plans never take shape. In the end I ended up playing flash games and watching dumb movies on gamepapa.com. Hahaha! But some of the movies were really hilarious lah.
So I practiced only a while and then they came back... Played a bit of Holberg viola-violin solo with Nick and let Albert tickle my viola for a while. Then they went off to amazing race, while the seniors trooped off to Paradiz to lan. And oh my it was fun. Hahaha! Dota and CS. Heh. Ah well its a guy thing. Then Kevin and Lenard went home to get their stuff, while Dun Jie, Joseph, Jun Jie, Me went to play a bit of pool.
Went back to school and realised what the hell. No more water bombs!!! Ack! So we had dinner at poolside restaurant. Hor fun. Wth so little. So Jun Jie couldn't finish and me and Lenard coped his. Went back to the room and played cards and talk nonsense and just laugh laugh laugh until my guts wanted to come outta my mouth. So much like Vienna hahahaha. And Taman Negara which Jun Jie went too!!! Ah ah ah so so so fun really. So funny. Heh. Then. We decided to do something CRAZY!!! MIDNIGHT LAN!! Oh my god!!! So funny! So there was ME(!!!), Lenard, Kevin, Joseph, Jun Jie, Lu Kuan, Zhi Xiang and Man loke. 8 people. So we took a 174 to Cuppage road, centre point. We got there at 12 and ended at 3. About 3 hours!! Fun!! HAhaha. Dota and CS again. Yay owned CS totally. Hahaha. Achievement huh. But I must say my DOTA is really DAMN LOUSY. Hahaha. What Slardar all that nonsense. Heh. Lu Kuan rocked to the core in the second game. Wicked sick, Holy shit and TRIPLE KILL. Crazy one lah. They let his Drow Ranger feed until dunno what like that. Ah ah ah sick.
So we all went back bathed and slept. For 4 hours. Hahahaha.
I woke up, brushed teeth, packed up then left for home. Got home went on comp awhile, then church. Had lunch came back and slept. Hee.
Then went to the cemetery with maternal relatives!! Hahaha. Sounds solemn doesn't it. But for my family's case its actually quite a happy event!! Where we meet up with everyone again.
Went to uncle's house after that and they catered a buffet dinner. Ate until I was very full. Then I went to the house and played HALO. Damn funny I'd just run around like a mad idiot and get shot at. My only way to kill people was to throw grenades around or melee.. Hahaha it was hilarious.
On Monday... Went out with family and went around... Went to marina south and found out there was nothing much there to do. So we went Bras Basah "book city" and there I found a treasure trove of DVDs!!! So I bought Gil Shaham with Berlin Phil and Grumiaux. There're really damn good and DAMN cheap lah I'm still damn happy with my buys up to now cuz I'm watching them everytime and getting stunned still. Wanna go buy more!!! Went to the new Bras Basah Library too and read a while.
Then went to watch the Violin Comp Intermediate and saw Alan in action. Heh heh. Yeah what can I say about everyone who I saw who played, with the exception of Alan? Haha. Nothing much but I know of two who whose tone was quite acceptable... And who're really promising and could totally thrash my ass when I was their age. Hahaha. Ah well. I'm quite nooberfied come to think of it, seriously. So Alan played quite well I must say. ESPECIALLY for his Bach. It was really out of this world. I think he didn't do as well as he should for the Mendelssohn cuz he didn't spend his time there.
Anyway then Lenard, who was watching with me too, and Alan tompang-ed my car back to school to watch the TCHS strings concert. Then news that Alan made it to the semi's came, and he was so happy. But I mean come on. That's expecrted, right? Hur hur. I wouldn't have worried so much if I were him.
Ended up as the usherer. Heh. Bought for Mr Chan and brought like four people to the Drama Centre cuz they looked so lost. Heh. All the latecomers, we let them go in by the back entrance. So that meant I missed the entire first piece by NY and a bit of Volkmann.
Ok what I want to say is this. Intonation was screwed up. In fact it was so screwed up that at some points it was AGONIZING to the ears. But you know what. intonation isn't EVERYTHING. I was utterly impressed by the way the orchestra sought to hang on together throughout the entire performance. And you guys pulled it off! The feel and style of everything was really there, and intact. That's why I said it was a good performance. Besides intonation, you guys brought out what the conductors wanted you too, and what the composer wanted you to, in my humble opinion.
Played with the lights and the microphone during the intermission. Hahaha. Noone announced the intermission, so Lenard stood and shouted the announcement out and it was really humiliating for him. Hahaha!
Ah well. Of course he shouted out my name too during the applause at the end of the concert. H-U-M-I-L-I-A-T-I-N-G.
Then we hung around, waiting for Trevor's debrief that seemed to go on forever. Then after we went to KAP macs AGAIN. And I finally had dinner. So we talked and talked with Sze and yeah it was quite interesting with viola/conductor-choo huey jokes and all. Went home pretty late.
And that's all I'll write for now. There's more. But this is really too long already.
I've changed to C-Box cuz I think tag-board is absolutely lousy! Also now its the 3rd movement of Scottish Fantasy. Don't want to have it analysed but its said to be the emotional climax of the piece, and I agree to it some what though I think the introduction to the first movement is more intense. But the intensity lasts for a longer period of time for this movement I guess. I quote my previous post, "The 3rd movement is so bitter-sweet! No not bitter... More of a sweet and... Sour taste. Like a graceful, dignified who has a flawless frame. The songs he sings are sweet but you can feel the longing and anguish tinged in the melodies... But he masks everything inside so well... He lets them go."
And also I quote Yefim Bronfman, "Music speaks for itself."
But you need the ears to here, and the knowledge to understand. Music is a language, like English, like CHINESE. If you suck at the language you won't understand its beauty! I'm learning the language everyday.
Anway.... All the way to... FRIDAY!!! Oh oh oh Christine and Eileen came over for badminton and tennis! Heh heh. Eileen got prevented from playing tennis though, because the guard saw she wasn't wearing shoes. She'd come in a skirt and slippers??? Hahaha, how to play right. Anyway, tennis for me was so screwed, absolutely don't know how to play, don't know how to control the ball and totally MISSED a few shots, embarrassing I tell you. Hahaha, I must have looked like a fool like all the tennis players in my condo generally are. Hahaha! And Christine was pro lah, purposely make those difficult shots I absolutely cannot catch, bleah. =P Haha, Eileen had to borrow her shoes and play.
At least badminton wasn't so bad. I didn't do too badly!! Heh! And now Eileen could play together too because it was an enclosed area, nobody can see she's playing with no shoes on! So we play play play until they went home lor, and that's that but really it was damn fun. =D And yeah like Chris said my jogging once in two days has paid off, I wasn't tired after everything!! =)
Later I had dinner with parents at Beauty World, and we went over to the field and saw these people playing with the remote-controlled kite-plane thingy that was really quite cool, flashing neon lights as they flew high in the air... Really really beautiful "stars". Dad was interested in playing, but it was not really cheap, and we needed lessons too, as the promoter was telling us, and well we can afford the money, but I can't afford the time. Haha. Practice practice! Heh.
Then I went for camp!!! Went in the night while they were playing some game that Trevor Sze made up and it looked really fun!! But I didn't play cuz I arrived so late!! So I just watched them play and have fun and have debrief that was quite long. Heh. It was funny, and people were having a great time. So that's good.
Then went back to the orch-room in TCHS and PRO-ED room to put my stuff, cuz the game thingy was held in NYGH. Then played a bit of viola and PASSACGLIA again with nick and of course LOTS AND LOTS of CARDS into the night!! Hahaha, whee. Got people to buy chips and we feasted!! So we slept at like 3 plus that night, with Dun Jie and us clinging onto each other for warmth in the middle of the night cuz it was so damn cold. Yeah. Ok. Maybe that looks gay, but what the hell. Warmth is more important. Besides, Alan and Albert's stunt was way way worse than ours. Haha! But I shall be nice and I won't mention, smiles sweetly.
Early the next morning Mrs Tay who was on the couch beside us threw us a much needed sleeping bag for a blanket and we were so thankful. Heh! So they all left for orchestra practice at NYGH while I stayed behind to sleep a bit more. Planned to practice, but with a comp in the room as well and complete privacy these plans never take shape. In the end I ended up playing flash games and watching dumb movies on gamepapa.com. Hahaha! But some of the movies were really hilarious lah.
So I practiced only a while and then they came back... Played a bit of Holberg viola-violin solo with Nick and let Albert tickle my viola for a while. Then they went off to amazing race, while the seniors trooped off to Paradiz to lan. And oh my it was fun. Hahaha! Dota and CS. Heh. Ah well its a guy thing. Then Kevin and Lenard went home to get their stuff, while Dun Jie, Joseph, Jun Jie, Me went to play a bit of pool.
Went back to school and realised what the hell. No more water bombs!!! Ack! So we had dinner at poolside restaurant. Hor fun. Wth so little. So Jun Jie couldn't finish and me and Lenard coped his. Went back to the room and played cards and talk nonsense and just laugh laugh laugh until my guts wanted to come outta my mouth. So much like Vienna hahahaha. And Taman Negara which Jun Jie went too!!! Ah ah ah so so so fun really. So funny. Heh. Then. We decided to do something CRAZY!!! MIDNIGHT LAN!! Oh my god!!! So funny! So there was ME(!!!), Lenard, Kevin, Joseph, Jun Jie, Lu Kuan, Zhi Xiang and Man loke. 8 people. So we took a 174 to Cuppage road, centre point. We got there at 12 and ended at 3. About 3 hours!! Fun!! HAhaha. Dota and CS again. Yay owned CS totally. Hahaha. Achievement huh. But I must say my DOTA is really DAMN LOUSY. Hahaha. What Slardar all that nonsense. Heh. Lu Kuan rocked to the core in the second game. Wicked sick, Holy shit and TRIPLE KILL. Crazy one lah. They let his Drow Ranger feed until dunno what like that. Ah ah ah sick.
So we all went back bathed and slept. For 4 hours. Hahahaha.
I woke up, brushed teeth, packed up then left for home. Got home went on comp awhile, then church. Had lunch came back and slept. Hee.
Then went to the cemetery with maternal relatives!! Hahaha. Sounds solemn doesn't it. But for my family's case its actually quite a happy event!! Where we meet up with everyone again.
Went to uncle's house after that and they catered a buffet dinner. Ate until I was very full. Then I went to the house and played HALO. Damn funny I'd just run around like a mad idiot and get shot at. My only way to kill people was to throw grenades around or melee.. Hahaha it was hilarious.
On Monday... Went out with family and went around... Went to marina south and found out there was nothing much there to do. So we went Bras Basah "book city" and there I found a treasure trove of DVDs!!! So I bought Gil Shaham with Berlin Phil and Grumiaux. There're really damn good and DAMN cheap lah I'm still damn happy with my buys up to now cuz I'm watching them everytime and getting stunned still. Wanna go buy more!!! Went to the new Bras Basah Library too and read a while.
Then went to watch the Violin Comp Intermediate and saw Alan in action. Heh heh. Yeah what can I say about everyone who I saw who played, with the exception of Alan? Haha. Nothing much but I know of two who whose tone was quite acceptable... And who're really promising and could totally thrash my ass when I was their age. Hahaha. Ah well. I'm quite nooberfied come to think of it, seriously. So Alan played quite well I must say. ESPECIALLY for his Bach. It was really out of this world. I think he didn't do as well as he should for the Mendelssohn cuz he didn't spend his time there.
Anyway then Lenard, who was watching with me too, and Alan tompang-ed my car back to school to watch the TCHS strings concert. Then news that Alan made it to the semi's came, and he was so happy. But I mean come on. That's expecrted, right? Hur hur. I wouldn't have worried so much if I were him.
Ended up as the usherer. Heh. Bought for Mr Chan and brought like four people to the Drama Centre cuz they looked so lost. Heh. All the latecomers, we let them go in by the back entrance. So that meant I missed the entire first piece by NY and a bit of Volkmann.
Ok what I want to say is this. Intonation was screwed up. In fact it was so screwed up that at some points it was AGONIZING to the ears. But you know what. intonation isn't EVERYTHING. I was utterly impressed by the way the orchestra sought to hang on together throughout the entire performance. And you guys pulled it off! The feel and style of everything was really there, and intact. That's why I said it was a good performance. Besides intonation, you guys brought out what the conductors wanted you too, and what the composer wanted you to, in my humble opinion.
Played with the lights and the microphone during the intermission. Hahaha. Noone announced the intermission, so Lenard stood and shouted the announcement out and it was really humiliating for him. Hahaha!
Ah well. Of course he shouted out my name too during the applause at the end of the concert. H-U-M-I-L-I-A-T-I-N-G.
Then we hung around, waiting for Trevor's debrief that seemed to go on forever. Then after we went to KAP macs AGAIN. And I finally had dinner. So we talked and talked with Sze and yeah it was quite interesting with viola/conductor-choo huey jokes and all. Went home pretty late.
And that's all I'll write for now. There's more. But this is really too long already.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Recently my days have been a little bit more happening. Hahaha hence there's no everyday post.
Wednesday... Viola lesson. What can I say. Judy was quite happy, really. Also dunno why. I didn't practice much because of the concert but she liked the way I played Schubert, and she told me my Milhaud (just found out its pronounced Mee-oh) was stable! Stable??? I hardly think so myself, though I don't mean to challenge her judgement... I was playing out of tune here there, clumsy left hand, and my bow division isn't that great either. Sigh, more work!! It's tough.
Thursday... Oh my bro took me and my mom out to lunch at this penang restaurant that my mom chose. Was very very full at the end with rendang and curry and all that. Hahaha. Then from Jurong East, took a 66 down to Nanyang High to watch tchs orch once again combining with NY... Guess what, met KaiXuan on the bus! Hahaha. Spent time catching up with each other.
Went to Ny and watched then. I don't feel like analysing anything now because I'm not really free now. But really. Practice more when you have the chance, please. Watch the conductor and count. Intonation, watch it. Please phrase off properly after each ending. Holberg has a few baroque elements in it. Please don't swell at endings.
Besides the mundane things, I have to say that Mr Chan has done a good job with all of you. The shape of the music is there and I'm really inpressed with that.
I wish you luck for your concert. I wish you luck for everything beyond your concert. You know as I think of every one of you, I am constantly reminded by the wonders you created and how you astounded me time and again when you played such fantastic music. The magic didn't just come from the seniors. It came from you. Deep within you when you finally realised and saw the beauty in the music and you felt the fire of passion that drove you to create it. Some of you feel dejected, some of you feel disappointed, and that there's no point in going on, now that things are in a mess. You think that its a hopeless case? Let me tell you, its not. You guys have what it takes to be a great youth orchestra. You need to hang in there and not give up hope. Already the bond between everyone of you is amazing. What has been achieved here is none other like I have seen in all my years in orhcestra playing. Keep that bond strong, and remember, work together. When I say that every player is important, I'm not talking shit. I really mean it. Every player will be, in his right, a leader of the orchestra sooner or later. Everyone has a chance. So you see the importance. It's never too late to begin your training to be the leader that you're destined to be.
Surprise me more, I implore you.
Wednesday... Viola lesson. What can I say. Judy was quite happy, really. Also dunno why. I didn't practice much because of the concert but she liked the way I played Schubert, and she told me my Milhaud (just found out its pronounced Mee-oh) was stable! Stable??? I hardly think so myself, though I don't mean to challenge her judgement... I was playing out of tune here there, clumsy left hand, and my bow division isn't that great either. Sigh, more work!! It's tough.
Thursday... Oh my bro took me and my mom out to lunch at this penang restaurant that my mom chose. Was very very full at the end with rendang and curry and all that. Hahaha. Then from Jurong East, took a 66 down to Nanyang High to watch tchs orch once again combining with NY... Guess what, met KaiXuan on the bus! Hahaha. Spent time catching up with each other.
Went to Ny and watched then. I don't feel like analysing anything now because I'm not really free now. But really. Practice more when you have the chance, please. Watch the conductor and count. Intonation, watch it. Please phrase off properly after each ending. Holberg has a few baroque elements in it. Please don't swell at endings.
Besides the mundane things, I have to say that Mr Chan has done a good job with all of you. The shape of the music is there and I'm really inpressed with that.
I wish you luck for your concert. I wish you luck for everything beyond your concert. You know as I think of every one of you, I am constantly reminded by the wonders you created and how you astounded me time and again when you played such fantastic music. The magic didn't just come from the seniors. It came from you. Deep within you when you finally realised and saw the beauty in the music and you felt the fire of passion that drove you to create it. Some of you feel dejected, some of you feel disappointed, and that there's no point in going on, now that things are in a mess. You think that its a hopeless case? Let me tell you, its not. You guys have what it takes to be a great youth orchestra. You need to hang in there and not give up hope. Already the bond between everyone of you is amazing. What has been achieved here is none other like I have seen in all my years in orhcestra playing. Keep that bond strong, and remember, work together. When I say that every player is important, I'm not talking shit. I really mean it. Every player will be, in his right, a leader of the orchestra sooner or later. Everyone has a chance. So you see the importance. It's never too late to begin your training to be the leader that you're destined to be.
Surprise me more, I implore you.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Tag-board seems to be down for like very very long. Hahaha so unreliable. So sorry if I'm not replying tags! There's no way I can read them. Heh.
Anyway. I repeat I repeat. My previous post was so horribly dark and dank and reeks of depression and sorrow. Disgusting. I don't know why sometimes I do that. I mean I know its just that... Its just that I don't know why I just allow myself to go through over and over again... Never ending cycle. Wonder when I will ever snap out of it and go on. Advance to better things for myself and other people.
Actually I thought the concert was great. Apparently few people share my same sentiments, as I've been seeing. So I ask, what is the purpose of concerts? To perform pieces to an audience, for the purpose of entertainment, is is not? So were our viewers entertained? Hell yes they were. They clapped the longest for any performance I've participated in, in Singapore that is. They were happy, as I could tell as I left the back-stage and witnessed their smiles and chattering. Hence I conclude that as long we've impressed our guests, and made them happy, giving them a happy time, it was a success, I say.
So I'm happy with that.
Lately.. What's been happening to me? Sunday nothing much, the usual church-going stuff. At night went Bugis for walking and I bought Jay Chou's not-so-new album that I'm listening to now. Its a great CD maybe I should put a few nicer ones on the blog instead of all the classical stuff. Sure they're good too, but I'm not all about only Beethoven, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, that kinda thing.
So Monday, yes my family went JB. Walked around had a nice lunch at Robin's.. Didn't buy anything. At least technically. But there wasn't much to buy anyway. Had dinner there too... Nothing much to remember here...
Today, I've just come home from a nice long discussion, had lunch with ZhaoHan and played 1v1 CS and DOTA!! Hahahaha. Chiong Divine Rapier and all that hahahaha. Funny, just killing him off. But he did have his share of wins too. Haha. Ah well..
So I'm home now. Cousins came over and they're playing with toy-guns, shooting a target that kinda thing, with the rubber suction-pad bullets. HAhahaa! Just what I did when I was young!
Yeah. Haven't practiced for long... Toodles now.
Anyway. I repeat I repeat. My previous post was so horribly dark and dank and reeks of depression and sorrow. Disgusting. I don't know why sometimes I do that. I mean I know its just that... Its just that I don't know why I just allow myself to go through over and over again... Never ending cycle. Wonder when I will ever snap out of it and go on. Advance to better things for myself and other people.
Actually I thought the concert was great. Apparently few people share my same sentiments, as I've been seeing. So I ask, what is the purpose of concerts? To perform pieces to an audience, for the purpose of entertainment, is is not? So were our viewers entertained? Hell yes they were. They clapped the longest for any performance I've participated in, in Singapore that is. They were happy, as I could tell as I left the back-stage and witnessed their smiles and chattering. Hence I conclude that as long we've impressed our guests, and made them happy, giving them a happy time, it was a success, I say.
So I'm happy with that.
Lately.. What's been happening to me? Sunday nothing much, the usual church-going stuff. At night went Bugis for walking and I bought Jay Chou's not-so-new album that I'm listening to now. Its a great CD maybe I should put a few nicer ones on the blog instead of all the classical stuff. Sure they're good too, but I'm not all about only Beethoven, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, that kinda thing.
So Monday, yes my family went JB. Walked around had a nice lunch at Robin's.. Didn't buy anything. At least technically. But there wasn't much to buy anyway. Had dinner there too... Nothing much to remember here...
Today, I've just come home from a nice long discussion, had lunch with ZhaoHan and played 1v1 CS and DOTA!! Hahahaha. Chiong Divine Rapier and all that hahahaha. Funny, just killing him off. But he did have his share of wins too. Haha. Ah well..
So I'm home now. Cousins came over and they're playing with toy-guns, shooting a target that kinda thing, with the rubber suction-pad bullets. HAhahaa! Just what I did when I was young!
Yeah. Haven't practiced for long... Toodles now.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
TAGS:
yuleans: i don't dota!! hahaha whatever made you think i do. batman forever! haha! jim carrey rocks man, was he the joker or smthng. heh heh. bet he was.
annthea: hahahaha i see i see paisei lah. hahaha. yeah agree, if you really did it'd be MADNESS.
squirrel loves nutz: thank you! i'll try my best.
rach shen: ack! flying bow! it was embarrassing really, played like nonsense in front of the whole orchestra. bleah!
eileen!: I was great where? hahaha. yeah go cycling lor i don't mind. go where cycle then?
yuleans: i don't dota!! hahaha whatever made you think i do. batman forever! haha! jim carrey rocks man, was he the joker or smthng. heh heh. bet he was.
annthea: hahahaha i see i see paisei lah. hahaha. yeah agree, if you really did it'd be MADNESS.
squirrel loves nutz: thank you! i'll try my best.
rach shen: ack! flying bow! it was embarrassing really, played like nonsense in front of the whole orchestra. bleah!
eileen!: I was great where? hahaha. yeah go cycling lor i don't mind. go where cycle then?
So here I am, blogging at an unearthly hour. It's a way for me to sort out things in my head I guess..
Where do I start?
Rehearsal at 4 o'clock. I got a little late but they hadn't started, which was a good thing. Pereira got his file from me. Rehearsed. I guess we were still sounding quite bad at that time, but there wasn't much I could do about it.
Went off-stage during Glazunov and fooled around with Lenard a bit in the dressing room with Passacaglia. Rushed on again during carols rehearsal.
Had dinner after playing around with Jipson on the timpani. Then went dressing room and toilet to change into soncert attire. Had a lot of fun in the dressing room, talking a lot of rubbish, swearing alot of army curse words. I don't know. Its just a warm, cosy, friendly feeling between guys that may seem absolutely mindless and stupid but its just... I don't know. It just feels good when everyone is feeling good.
Went and met people and passed tickets around. Tiff gave me a big bag of flowers to pass around, thanks. Then concert. I guess it went pretty well. The audience was happy. But I don't know. The novelty of performing has worn out for me. I only go to create music. The applause and cries of admiration don't appeal that much anymore. I do wonder why. Or maybe. Like I said. We look forward to the concert so much, and when the applause comes its just so... I don't know. Abrupt, that its ended just like that, and you've passed on already. Maybe it was a good concert, I don't know its for the audience to say. But from what I've seen I guess they enjoyed it pretty much. I liked the carols, though the viola part may be stupid. Heh.
I'm rambling forgive me. There's just so much in my heart that I'm trying to let go.
After concert passed things to mum, talked with her a while and a few groups of people went down to Esplanade Haagen Daaz again. We felt pretty much cheated after the whole thing. What ultimate sundae and desirable whatever, we got charged pretty badly and the bill came up to $83.70. Learned from Jipson. Had a cake and a cone. Cheaper, and much more filling. Had a lot of fun coming up with weird concoctions and passing them from table to table...
Home.
A day has passed and gone. Many things have passed and gone. They pass so fast, leaving no trace. Just wish to hold on just a bit longer and smell and taste the sweetness. Just a bit longer.
You've all grown and flown away. I guess I have done the same. But I do look back sometimes. Do you ever do the same? But some things never change. The magic of your smiles. Its black magic. Its dark, and it does no good for me now. I don't have a choice!!! Maybe I do. And that's to just block it all out.
Only hurts if you hold on too tight huh. As I took the bus home today I was singing tragic songs but laughing. Why? I laugh at my own stupidity, my hypocritical self, my ego, my strong outer walls, my loneliness.
There's only me and You now. Me and You. It will always be that way, and You're always telling me that, how much You love me, how much You care about me. But all my life I've kept my distance from You. When I hurt I know you hurt, but I don't seem to trust You even though You're the only hope left. I don't know why I'm like this, but You know. This is my nature I guess. I am led by the wrong things. I am fooled easily. Change me, I ask of You. Then You and I can be One. Right now I see the tears in Your eyes as you see me going astray. You've tried to lead me back so many times, yet I didn't heed Your calling, yet You try, untiring, faithfully.
After all that. I love You. I think I do. Right now I feel that way. But it always fades. And its frustrating. I take things for granted. I put everything in Your hands now. You know what to do, and You can do it. You cry as much as I do in my heart, and I'm sorry. Come back to me. No. I'll go to You, and may this mutual love last forever.
Oh come all ye faithful.
Where do I start?
Rehearsal at 4 o'clock. I got a little late but they hadn't started, which was a good thing. Pereira got his file from me. Rehearsed. I guess we were still sounding quite bad at that time, but there wasn't much I could do about it.
Went off-stage during Glazunov and fooled around with Lenard a bit in the dressing room with Passacaglia. Rushed on again during carols rehearsal.
Had dinner after playing around with Jipson on the timpani. Then went dressing room and toilet to change into soncert attire. Had a lot of fun in the dressing room, talking a lot of rubbish, swearing alot of army curse words. I don't know. Its just a warm, cosy, friendly feeling between guys that may seem absolutely mindless and stupid but its just... I don't know. It just feels good when everyone is feeling good.
Went and met people and passed tickets around. Tiff gave me a big bag of flowers to pass around, thanks. Then concert. I guess it went pretty well. The audience was happy. But I don't know. The novelty of performing has worn out for me. I only go to create music. The applause and cries of admiration don't appeal that much anymore. I do wonder why. Or maybe. Like I said. We look forward to the concert so much, and when the applause comes its just so... I don't know. Abrupt, that its ended just like that, and you've passed on already. Maybe it was a good concert, I don't know its for the audience to say. But from what I've seen I guess they enjoyed it pretty much. I liked the carols, though the viola part may be stupid. Heh.
I'm rambling forgive me. There's just so much in my heart that I'm trying to let go.
After concert passed things to mum, talked with her a while and a few groups of people went down to Esplanade Haagen Daaz again. We felt pretty much cheated after the whole thing. What ultimate sundae and desirable whatever, we got charged pretty badly and the bill came up to $83.70. Learned from Jipson. Had a cake and a cone. Cheaper, and much more filling. Had a lot of fun coming up with weird concoctions and passing them from table to table...
Home.
A day has passed and gone. Many things have passed and gone. They pass so fast, leaving no trace. Just wish to hold on just a bit longer and smell and taste the sweetness. Just a bit longer.
You've all grown and flown away. I guess I have done the same. But I do look back sometimes. Do you ever do the same? But some things never change. The magic of your smiles. Its black magic. Its dark, and it does no good for me now. I don't have a choice!!! Maybe I do. And that's to just block it all out.
Only hurts if you hold on too tight huh. As I took the bus home today I was singing tragic songs but laughing. Why? I laugh at my own stupidity, my hypocritical self, my ego, my strong outer walls, my loneliness.
There's only me and You now. Me and You. It will always be that way, and You're always telling me that, how much You love me, how much You care about me. But all my life I've kept my distance from You. When I hurt I know you hurt, but I don't seem to trust You even though You're the only hope left. I don't know why I'm like this, but You know. This is my nature I guess. I am led by the wrong things. I am fooled easily. Change me, I ask of You. Then You and I can be One. Right now I see the tears in Your eyes as you see me going astray. You've tried to lead me back so many times, yet I didn't heed Your calling, yet You try, untiring, faithfully.
After all that. I love You. I think I do. Right now I feel that way. But it always fades. And its frustrating. I take things for granted. I put everything in Your hands now. You know what to do, and You can do it. You cry as much as I do in my heart, and I'm sorry. Come back to me. No. I'll go to You, and may this mutual love last forever.
Oh come all ye faithful.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Concert today!!! Heh heh.
Musical Louise, in reply, cuz I don't like flooding tag-boards. =)
I have to say that sitting as far in front is somewhat important. Why? Its part of your portfolio, and a way to gauge yourself how good you really are. Yep, that's important if you want to be a successful musician. It's a sad part of society, that only the best survive. So we have no choice but to work around that, and try and try to be the best, or as near that as possible.
Why I'm at the back? Actually there's quite a simple explanation. Last Thursday, they just rearranged the sitting arrangement according to how we were sitting that practice. And I so happened to be sitting right at the back, as usual, cuz its always conveniently vacant. Hahaha! Also. We all know I played badly for assessments early this year. And mind you it was really really bad, probably the worst in the entire section. That's why. Mr Lim's impression of me is that I don't play well, and I don't blame anybody for that. Because of this I guess I deserve to be kicked around any place in the section. It's not an exactly pleasant feeling, its just something you have to adapt to.
Yes, politics stink. One look at Taiwan's election campaigns can confirm that. Okay out of point. But anyway. I'm young. And right now I am blessed with the energy to continue to work, and against the odds push back against this politics that hinders my growth. Maybe things won't be like that when I grow older. But right now I have the energy. If not now, then when?
=)
Concert today!
Musical Louise, in reply, cuz I don't like flooding tag-boards. =)
I have to say that sitting as far in front is somewhat important. Why? Its part of your portfolio, and a way to gauge yourself how good you really are. Yep, that's important if you want to be a successful musician. It's a sad part of society, that only the best survive. So we have no choice but to work around that, and try and try to be the best, or as near that as possible.
Why I'm at the back? Actually there's quite a simple explanation. Last Thursday, they just rearranged the sitting arrangement according to how we were sitting that practice. And I so happened to be sitting right at the back, as usual, cuz its always conveniently vacant. Hahaha! Also. We all know I played badly for assessments early this year. And mind you it was really really bad, probably the worst in the entire section. That's why. Mr Lim's impression of me is that I don't play well, and I don't blame anybody for that. Because of this I guess I deserve to be kicked around any place in the section. It's not an exactly pleasant feeling, its just something you have to adapt to.
Yes, politics stink. One look at Taiwan's election campaigns can confirm that. Okay out of point. But anyway. I'm young. And right now I am blessed with the energy to continue to work, and against the odds push back against this politics that hinders my growth. Maybe things won't be like that when I grow older. But right now I have the energy. If not now, then when?
=)
Concert today!
Friday, December 02, 2005
Whew. Pretty long post took alot out of me. But these things aren't put into words easily, you should all know that. Why isn't it put into words easily? Simply because its a type of thinking that's hard to get about to! Yep.
Anyway nothing much happened yesterday. Went Lenard's house before rehearsal and wanted to practice with him. But in the end I ended up playing DOTA on the comp. Hahaha! Then rehearsal...
Nothing much today either. No plans. Heh. Nice. Its like.. There's nothing! I can really choose to do whatever I want! Cool right. But I guess not many will understand the greatness of this privelege.
Bye bye!
Anyway nothing much happened yesterday. Went Lenard's house before rehearsal and wanted to practice with him. But in the end I ended up playing DOTA on the comp. Hahaha! Then rehearsal...
Nothing much today either. No plans. Heh. Nice. Its like.. There's nothing! I can really choose to do whatever I want! Cool right. But I guess not many will understand the greatness of this privelege.
Bye bye!
Can't wait to tune you all to 3rd movement of the Scottish. Not yet, but soon. Heh. The 3rd movement is so bitter-sweet! No not bitter... More of a sweet and... Sour taste. Like a graceful, dignified who has a flawless frame. The songs he sings are sweet but you can feel the longing and anguish tinged in the melodies... But he masks everything inside so well... He lets them go.
Haha.
TAGS:
Annette: yeah hi you take care too! and well im going to reply to your post. at the later part of this post.
zhouZZZ: like i said, take care and try to have FUN where ever you're going! yeah you bet. i LOVE my new viola. heh.
annthea: HELLO! hahaha! no lah don't worry about your nightmare our concert's quite soldout! haha, yeah! you bought 500 HUNDRED bucks!! my goodness.. hahaha.
To the Musical Louise:
I first heard of your dedicated post to me from your sister. And I realise that even from your previous post things that you've talking about are related to me and are things that I've gone through. That I've kept silent about!
Alright to begin, we all have to look at what is important to us. This question comes to mind: "Is sitting in front the most important thing in my musical pursuits?"
If the answer is yes, then I guess the answerer is someone who is more concerned with getting back as much as he gives, and is very intent on being the best. It's not at all a bad thing. Everybody wants to be the best, of course. But this is an issue of how much you want it. If you really want it so much it'll spur you on the work hard, and in the end, it turns out good. That's why its not a bad thing. Then, about "getting back as much as he gives", I'm sure that's what everyone looks at some time or another as well. Results! Its quite important as well. Imagine slogging away and not getting good results in exams? Its the same thing! So its not a wrong answer to say "YES!!!!" to the above question.
=)
Now. About "no". Its a more complicated issue. If sitting in front is not important, if being appreciated is not important, if being despised (!!!) is not important, then what is?
For me:
Is being important and appreciated really unimportant? No! Its not! But then the crux lies in WHO appreciates it and acknowledges the effort you put in. And the most important person is yourself. Imagine one day you were promoted to section leader, everybody comes up to you and tells you about how talented you are and you've even got a fan club dfedicated to you. But then. You know that someone sitting 3 rows behind is actually much much better than you are. How would you feel then? Sure you can comfort yourself that there ARE areas of playing where you excel further than him. But more often than not, you realise that you don't DESERVE that place given to you.
How then would you feel?
Appreciate and take pride in your own efforts, in the sounds that you create. Even if there's no one to hear except yourself. Put yourself in your section leader's place all the time, during rehearsals and during self practice. "If I want to be there, I must play as well, if not better than him!" Think like a soloist. "If I'm playing this passage all alone, and there's no hiding, no faking to be done about it, then I MUST play it well!" Then play as solidly as you can.
After all that you realise one thing: Integrity. Integrity as a musician. That I've put in what I can. No. ALL that I can ever put in. I can play the repertoire. I can play it well. Even though I'm sitting where I am, a pathetic seat, I know and am comforted by the fact that I am...
A Musician. Someone who creates music. Not someone who sits in front and depends on the people behind him to play out and hide his disabilities.
Do remember that whatever the audience hears, is what you play. If everyone hides, who will play? Though the audience may not know it, but you know this: They're HEARING ME.
And this , of course, goes to everyone who says, "What the hell? I'm better than that loser sitting 3 desks ahead of me! ARGH!!"
Now about myself... I feel that I'm not REALLY a perfectionist, in all senses of the word. There're many areas of the current repertoire that I'm not playing exactly very well. I do fake when I miss out hard passages! And I even harbour thoughts of faking those passages where I know I really cannot cannot play even though I practice it hard. Playing perfectly is not the issue, its about playing out the best of Sng Tiap Yang, no matter how bad it is, hehe.
And thank you, Musical Louise, for this faith in me that you possess. Take care and may your endeavours be blessed with light and victory.
To Heaven of Love, it didn't take much of me to say that goodbye. I only did what a friend would do. Don't thank me at all, its what I owe you! You don't have to be afraid that I'll just leave you behind. I told you: "This ship has many places to go, many goals to achieve. But it'll never be far from your waters." Never. I don't think so unless really dramatic things happen! You know what I mean. Take care where ever you are!
Haha.
TAGS:
Annette: yeah hi you take care too! and well im going to reply to your post. at the later part of this post.
zhouZZZ: like i said, take care and try to have FUN where ever you're going! yeah you bet. i LOVE my new viola. heh.
annthea: HELLO! hahaha! no lah don't worry about your nightmare our concert's quite soldout! haha, yeah! you bought 500 HUNDRED bucks!! my goodness.. hahaha.
To the Musical Louise:
I first heard of your dedicated post to me from your sister. And I realise that even from your previous post things that you've talking about are related to me and are things that I've gone through. That I've kept silent about!
Alright to begin, we all have to look at what is important to us. This question comes to mind: "Is sitting in front the most important thing in my musical pursuits?"
If the answer is yes, then I guess the answerer is someone who is more concerned with getting back as much as he gives, and is very intent on being the best. It's not at all a bad thing. Everybody wants to be the best, of course. But this is an issue of how much you want it. If you really want it so much it'll spur you on the work hard, and in the end, it turns out good. That's why its not a bad thing. Then, about "getting back as much as he gives", I'm sure that's what everyone looks at some time or another as well. Results! Its quite important as well. Imagine slogging away and not getting good results in exams? Its the same thing! So its not a wrong answer to say "YES!!!!" to the above question.
=)
Now. About "no". Its a more complicated issue. If sitting in front is not important, if being appreciated is not important, if being despised (!!!) is not important, then what is?
For me:
Is being important and appreciated really unimportant? No! Its not! But then the crux lies in WHO appreciates it and acknowledges the effort you put in. And the most important person is yourself. Imagine one day you were promoted to section leader, everybody comes up to you and tells you about how talented you are and you've even got a fan club dfedicated to you. But then. You know that someone sitting 3 rows behind is actually much much better than you are. How would you feel then? Sure you can comfort yourself that there ARE areas of playing where you excel further than him. But more often than not, you realise that you don't DESERVE that place given to you.
How then would you feel?
Appreciate and take pride in your own efforts, in the sounds that you create. Even if there's no one to hear except yourself. Put yourself in your section leader's place all the time, during rehearsals and during self practice. "If I want to be there, I must play as well, if not better than him!" Think like a soloist. "If I'm playing this passage all alone, and there's no hiding, no faking to be done about it, then I MUST play it well!" Then play as solidly as you can.
After all that you realise one thing: Integrity. Integrity as a musician. That I've put in what I can. No. ALL that I can ever put in. I can play the repertoire. I can play it well. Even though I'm sitting where I am, a pathetic seat, I know and am comforted by the fact that I am...
A Musician. Someone who creates music. Not someone who sits in front and depends on the people behind him to play out and hide his disabilities.
Do remember that whatever the audience hears, is what you play. If everyone hides, who will play? Though the audience may not know it, but you know this: They're HEARING ME.
And this , of course, goes to everyone who says, "What the hell? I'm better than that loser sitting 3 desks ahead of me! ARGH!!"
Now about myself... I feel that I'm not REALLY a perfectionist, in all senses of the word. There're many areas of the current repertoire that I'm not playing exactly very well. I do fake when I miss out hard passages! And I even harbour thoughts of faking those passages where I know I really cannot cannot play even though I practice it hard. Playing perfectly is not the issue, its about playing out the best of Sng Tiap Yang, no matter how bad it is, hehe.
And thank you, Musical Louise, for this faith in me that you possess. Take care and may your endeavours be blessed with light and victory.
To Heaven of Love, it didn't take much of me to say that goodbye. I only did what a friend would do. Don't thank me at all, its what I owe you! You don't have to be afraid that I'll just leave you behind. I told you: "This ship has many places to go, many goals to achieve. But it'll never be far from your waters." Never. I don't think so unless really dramatic things happen! You know what I mean. Take care where ever you are!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
I am in high spirits now!!
My viola rocks aye aye it does so from the bottom of my heart. It rocks so much!! Ok its a bit softer and less powerful now as when I just got it but nothing a few adjustments can't change. The tail piece probably shifted after putting the new strings. Yeah man.
The sound is clear, clean. Its easy to project, you can blast with ease. Tone is dark. Right now it lacks depth but you can feel that with maturity its going to be so deep and dark. Its just a great instrument. Plays so easily. Just tickling it produces such wholesome sound. Yay.
Anyway about yesterday.
Went to Music Essentials tried a coupla violas then settled for mine. Well... It'd been in my head for quite a long time now since the last time I saw it. Sin Teck showed me another one. It can't blast but it has a sweet wholesome tone and sounds fantastic when its played soft! Soft! I never looked at the soft side of instruments until I found that out yesterday! Hahaha. Found out about the fantastic shoulder rests that free up the sound so much and I have one now. Free cuz Sin Teck accidentally scratched my viola when he was replacing strings for me. Just a small scratch and its perfectly fine with me but he insisted so I accepted, duh.
Yay! Had dinner at Meridien then took a bus down to St Andrew's and walked to good ol' Vicky for a rehearsal. Rehearsal was damn fun now that its so much easier to play.
After rehearsal went down to Esplanade Haagen Daaz's!!! With Pereira, Yu Teng, Jip, Miffy and lil's Nick! People kept commenting that Nick and I were brothers or something. Haha! Pretty fun. Yeah and we just kept cracking damn funny and lame jokes over ice cream. Ultimate sundae wasn't so ultimate after all, but aye, still had tonnes of fun!
Left poor Yu Teng behind. Pereira had parent's car, the rest of us boarded the first 75 home.
It was so fun lah really. Sigh!
TODAY...
Nothing much. Practicing, trying to season my dear viola as quickly as possible. Had lesson and I played terribly but Judy was quite encouraging telling me that it wasn't that bad, pointing out the good parts that I brought out of Milhaud. But I guess for Schubert she had nothing much to say cuz I really played terribly. Haha..
Marrieta Ku came over! Don't know why, didn't ask cuz I guess its not my business but she did try out my viola and had good things to say about it so that's quite cool!
Went to top up Gen's Hi-card after....
Yay. I'm off!
Doing some thinking now...
My viola rocks aye aye it does so from the bottom of my heart. It rocks so much!! Ok its a bit softer and less powerful now as when I just got it but nothing a few adjustments can't change. The tail piece probably shifted after putting the new strings. Yeah man.
The sound is clear, clean. Its easy to project, you can blast with ease. Tone is dark. Right now it lacks depth but you can feel that with maturity its going to be so deep and dark. Its just a great instrument. Plays so easily. Just tickling it produces such wholesome sound. Yay.
Anyway about yesterday.
Went to Music Essentials tried a coupla violas then settled for mine. Well... It'd been in my head for quite a long time now since the last time I saw it. Sin Teck showed me another one. It can't blast but it has a sweet wholesome tone and sounds fantastic when its played soft! Soft! I never looked at the soft side of instruments until I found that out yesterday! Hahaha. Found out about the fantastic shoulder rests that free up the sound so much and I have one now. Free cuz Sin Teck accidentally scratched my viola when he was replacing strings for me. Just a small scratch and its perfectly fine with me but he insisted so I accepted, duh.
Yay! Had dinner at Meridien then took a bus down to St Andrew's and walked to good ol' Vicky for a rehearsal. Rehearsal was damn fun now that its so much easier to play.
After rehearsal went down to Esplanade Haagen Daaz's!!! With Pereira, Yu Teng, Jip, Miffy and lil's Nick! People kept commenting that Nick and I were brothers or something. Haha! Pretty fun. Yeah and we just kept cracking damn funny and lame jokes over ice cream. Ultimate sundae wasn't so ultimate after all, but aye, still had tonnes of fun!
Left poor Yu Teng behind. Pereira had parent's car, the rest of us boarded the first 75 home.
It was so fun lah really. Sigh!
TODAY...
Nothing much. Practicing, trying to season my dear viola as quickly as possible. Had lesson and I played terribly but Judy was quite encouraging telling me that it wasn't that bad, pointing out the good parts that I brought out of Milhaud. But I guess for Schubert she had nothing much to say cuz I really played terribly. Haha..
Marrieta Ku came over! Don't know why, didn't ask cuz I guess its not my business but she did try out my viola and had good things to say about it so that's quite cool!
Went to top up Gen's Hi-card after....
Yay. I'm off!
Doing some thinking now...
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