Hey. There's been a long absence. But I've been caught up with a lot of things.... Heh heh. Well here goes....

(I wonder whether I'll have the opportunity to do this next year, typing my life down so that I can just look back and laugh and be amused. Heh.)

TUESDAY

Lenard came over in the morning to watch Amadeus quartet and pick the piece we would want to play. Just slacked around, watching videos of Heifetz power and all that.

Then. Off to the National Dental Center. And put on my braces. They made my mouth really dry so that the glue would stick. Used some vacuum to suck out saliva, applied some stuff and put gauze all over. Then glued on the brackets and strung on the wires and put on the separators... Then of course they plucked out one more tooth, and injecting that aenesthetic again. The needle seriously hurt. And then come the pliers... Tug tug tug. Poof. Out comes the tooth. Sigh! The braces don't hurt now. That's because they haven't tightened it. Yet. But god knows they're irritating the shit outta me. Heh. People said about ulcers, but I got very few... Still... AH!!! And yes its really hard to bite cuz these stupid metal things are restricting movement. Stinks. Yuck.

Went home and watched Kingdom of Heaven DVD that Lenard lent me. At least this ordeal wasn't as bad as the last

WEDNESDAY

Went for viola lesson at Newton. Ended like one hour late because Judy came late, and we talked alot during lesson anyway. She taught me this slow bow thing and it really really rocks. A lot of techniques are much easier now, and the sound projects much better! Rocks.

Went home to put down my viola and pick up my camp stuff. Had lunch. Then went to coronation to meet up with Lenard and Zhaohan. Wanted to LAN but there was no computers available so we went NTUC, bought instant mee and water and went ZH's house! Hahaha. Wanted to bond him there but didn't in the end. Went to his comp and started playing DOTA and getting killed over and over again. I blame it on the lag! Hahaha... Lenard was playing around with ZH's seal soft-toy. =D

Went out soon after and hopped onto the same cab as Alan. The cab dropped us off like outside downtown east. Apparently because the lazy driver didn't want to U-turn all the way out again??? Lazy!! Heh. So we walked for ages, feeling really hot, till we got to bungalow 15. Everybody was asking me, "Tiap Yang you put braces??" I unsuccessfully tried to lie my way out but coudn't. Everytime I opened my mouth to, those darned things gleamed out in the sunlight. Ah well. Joined some people to anyhow kick a soccer ball here and there. Then got together with my group members. Ah my first briefing was quite cheesy didn't know what to say... But luckily the ice was broken, people started clicking... It was by some magical touch of a divine being I must say, for this miracle to have happened. I was absolutely tongue tied, had no idea which sections the people were in, their schools or what I could talk with them about. But yeah had a lot of help from a couple of people. Tian Cheng the enthusiastic kid and Rachel who really gelled them together. Ah. Haha.

Anyway moving on we were the first to finish entanglement after that... And all the other station stuff, we didn't handle too badly. I took the food appreciation badly... Couldn't eat with braces on. Yep. Silence went so well!! Ike's attempts to make us laugh were incredibly lame and funny but not good enough. Haha... And there was the sing a song six pence... Sang old macdonald's farm and that chinese song about mothers being the greatest beings on earth? Heh.

Ah ah ah ah ah. I'm rambling. There really is so many mundane details I'm going through...

After came dinner, and we started walking around, going to the pool, sitting there talking, then going to the beach and stoning - talking. Had to leave and look after BoJun who was going around barefooted with his loyal clique of Jeremiah, and the Russian bros, they barefoot as well.. Only thing that ABJ was exposing his CHEST. Which was really sick and stupid tried telling him to put it on, of course I couldn't stop him. The joker still wanted to swim. Was really worried he'd do something really stupid and tagged around with him. Heh. As if taking off his shirt and parading in front of a group of girls wasn't stupid enough.

Okay, I'm not really anti-ABJ, its just that yes sometimes I find the things he does is really stupid. I think I can still be considered his friend, and really, it doesn't feel good when you see your friend doing stupid things like that and getting hated. Heh. AMPLIFY SHAMELESSNESS. Sorry I couldn't help but add that in. Inside joke.

I'm rambling... Just rambling.

After Jon Lee's speech that night, a big group of us went to the break water.. There we just sat and talked through the night. I guess there wasn't much in my head at the time.. I guess I was just one to enjoy the moments and not think too much. Floating bottles? Moving ships? Blinking lights? Company? Not knowing the things that one should do when confronted with things as such. Just gazing into seemingly endless blackness... The eyes and skies meld together, forming a void of emptiness... I wondered if there was anything concrete at all, in some things. But even if there were, so what, right? So what. I wonder if it will serve me better. Even concrete breaks and falls away. Some things don't, and I do wonder what they are, these things that stick with me at my side, like the endless sounds of the waves slapping away at the rocks... Thumping away in me deep inside... Is it just the heart playing tricks? Or are these things really taking their toll now more than ever... Everything seems harder and harder to step out of nowadays... Now that I've lost... It. Only I know what I've lost.

So sit there I did. And just immersed myself... Until sense got into me telling me to leave to get some sleep as the day after would be gruelling. I left. Alone. As I always have been and probably always will be. Of course noone will ever understand me more than myself... And even this understanding wanes time and again until... What's there to believe in this world if not myself? My empty principles, my many masks to hide... What truly lurks beneath... That monster that is myself. But whatever it is... A distance was kept that night. Between myself... And... The world?

DAY TWO (THURSDAY)

Woke up feeling really cold because I had blasted the aircon the previous night. Brushed my teeth and ate breakfast, then it was time to go to the Seminar Center... The SNYO excercise... It didn't turn out to be that boring and uneventful as I expected... There was the Brigg's personality test once again. And this time... I was a completely different person from when I took it one year ago. ESTJ. Yes. Perfectly what I'd want myself to be. At least the ideal self. To attain such a level of indifference... To be able to control everything that goes through my head to let nothing infiltrate the depths of my heart where black and white are mixed to from a confusing grey. Where passionate but wrong decisions are always made. Where objectiveness always leads to false highs and goals and dreams come crashing down in a confusing mess, wrecking lives and confidence needed to face endless mires of problems. Yes. To reach such a stage where I can think logically and sensibly in the face of everything. WOW. Hahaha. Utopian mind freak. Hahahaha.

Control. Total control. Of mind, heart and body.

Then we shared qualities among ourselves that we wanted to be remembered by... I think I did this one very badly. Hahaha. The words just didn't come out. But at least te group were quite understanding... Then we made a really funny collage!!! Of a midget violist!! Yay so fun and we put really funny captions like "One people One nation One Singapore" and other really funny stuff. Made an impromptu presentation and thank god it went well. So the whole excercise ended on a happy note.

Then it was lunch. We watched like batman and sesame street on cartoon network!! Oh my goodness so incredibly funny and we kept laughing at "number of the day" and "letter of the day" and all those funny funny things oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHH!!! HAhahahahaa!

Then it was time for more group games stuff. There was the life-size table soccer where I really screwed up SO SO SO BADLY that I really wanted to curl up and die on the spot, seriously!! Aiya. Keeper malu, shooting also malu. Heh heh. Argh. Excuse me while I bury my face in the mud.

Then we had the caterpillar minefield. Sherry chose a really really bad spot for my group to start. And they kept targetting my group to distract!! Ah well. Burst two in the end, but one wasn't counted because Ruo Lin wasn't even touching it and it went pop. HAha. But Sherry saw that uncanny thing too and let us off. So we burst one. ONE. So my group bombed me once. Then the whole world started bombing me. I didn't even hurt anyone!! They just kept coming, "Yaaahhhrrr Tiap Yang!!!!" SPLAT!! Hahahaha! Aiyo. Not that I minded cuz it was quite funny anyway. Alan kept wanting to target Renee I wonder why. Did a suicide together with Ike with Christine's LAST bomb which she kindly gave to me. Hahahaha. So funny. Then the whole thing just went on to people using pails and basins to drench everyone. Even Ms Cheong and Mrs Wong weren't spared. HAhaha! Mrs Wong didn't have a change of clothes so she wore Jipson's in the end...

HAHA!

Anyway after dinner a lot of people left. Yeah. Some stayed. Its like... I don't know. Quite drenching, anit-climatic but in the end... We still managed our fun. Went pooling. Ioannes was VERY pro along with Hazizi and the Russian bros... I was merely VERY VERY TYCO. Hahaha. Honestly. I don't play pool very much and my shots are all just lucky ones lah.

Then once again we went to that breakwater... I just kept stoning there. Thoughts were swirling around now. So much like the waves, never ceasing their churning. There were the blinking lights again. But they were always there weren't they? Andris sitting beside me noticed. Asked me what was the matter.. What was I to say? There was no matter. It's just all a mind thing, I tell myself all the time. Everything is a mind thing. I'm learning how to work all these things out... But anyway she was a great comfort, enjoyed poking each other's funny spots throughout the camp. So... I just told her... About that floating bottle.

Then we went back and played cards and I got high and started squealing in this funny western accent that people apparently found really amusing. HAhaha! Accents don't come naturally you have to practice! Yay. My talking to myself all the time finally paid off.

So we played until people got tired. Went around and looked for people still awake... Everybody was KO-ing until the room with The Quah bros, Jon Lee and Ming and Zhiwei. Soon after they knocked out too.

(to be continued)

HAVEN'T I TYPED ENOUGH FOR A DAY!???!