I am confused, frustrated.. Sigh.. Wonder how much longer I can last.. Being thrown around like anybody’s business.. Being just.. Nothing.. In those eyes.. And after all that’s been said.. All that’s been done.. In the end it all boils down to nothing. Nothing. Because I’ve got nothing left inside.. Opening up.. Giving up everything.. Was it such a good idea? All that’s left is an empty space inside that seems to widen every second. Have I not fought my battle hard enough? Held on tightly enough? The grip is loosening. Control over my feelings is a thing of the past.. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s my own fault. Is it? I don’t know.. Anything at all.. Everything’s just.. Blank.. I am too blind to see the past.. Nor the the future.. The present is nothing. I thought I could go on forever.. Now I feel the fatigue.. The disappointments.. The rejections.. The cold.. They all settle down around me.. Drowning me in my own insecurities.. My fears.. Which I can’t even say are true or not. And maybe.. It’s not meant to be.. I must be prepared. I hope it is not too late to turn back.. Should I? Would I be right in planning this Exodus? I don’t know at all.. I don’t want to leave.. I don’t want to hurt. Why am I such a glutton for punishment? Why would I prefer to take the wounds of others on myself? I need answers.. And I shall be suffering until I get them.

Ok.. No time to write anything!! Mom rushing me. Anyway, I'VE COMPLETED MY MRP!!! Oh joy!!! Rawks!! Whee! Free! Wahaha. Had a headache, it's more or less gone after the panadol. Cya!

I still pray you'll sleep well tonight.
I still pray we can be together.
I still remember..
The stars..
The bus-rides..
The wish.
Good night.