Haha.. Im at the airport now.. Not much time left to go. Wahahaha.. Came back from camp and going off almost immediately. Hope I don't fall sick again like I did during camp.. But I'll elaborate later when im back. KK. Gtg!!

Heya, nothing much happened today.. Wanted to go out and catch The Incredibles with nick, lenard and deb today but things just cocked-up in the end. Slacked at home.... Camp tomorrow, I'd better go pack now.. Ahahahahaha. Then I wanna watch Passion of Christ!! Dad borrowed the DVD. Will have to go through some VERY important things first before I watch though. Ok. Bye then!!

SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYYYYY! I know this is long way over due. But I just can't find the time lah! Sigh. Heart beating faster. Its coming!!!! The killer period.

Some things you just can't get enough of. Even when its so far away. You may try. But you know you'll just end up broken in the gutter in the end anyway, cuz its not meant to be. So why try? Yep. I'm quite clear on what's possible and what's not. Now. And I'm really glad for it.

Doesn't mean there isn't the longing though. Sometimes it just creeps into your head. And its such a wonderful fantasy that you can't bear to make it go away. But in the end, you still do cuz you know that's its not possible. It's quite... Morale deflating. Everytime you think you've got a grip, something just pops into your head. And there's no stopping it turning you into a gibbering lump of turd. But. Everytime that happens its a battle lost. Oh bother. And such real images are formed when I close my eyes. They've got to stop. This is the end. Really. I'm giving in.

To.

Snickers.

No, I don't mean chocolate.

Nvm.

Ahem. Now. Let's see a quick run through.

Tuesday

Ah. Sectionals. Slacked with the sec1s while Goh took the others. Ok. Talked to them about. Stuff. Important stuff. Hopes. Dreams. Aspirations. They've got it all and all that's left is the work.

Went coronation for lunch, and then Orchard to buy gifts for sec4s. Camp's coming. And the gifts thing is a tradition. Haha, brings back some memories. Last year we bought Shaun Ho this soft toy in a shape of a bomb, you know those kind which is this black ball with the fuse sticking out. Yep. And it had the text "Sex-Bomb" on it. Aha. Aha. Funny! Yep. Walkied around lah. Legs felt like breaking after.

Wednesday

First day of my scuba diving course. First part of the day was just a lecture on decompression and stuff like that. Haha. How to burst your lungs! And for some people, their brains, cuz the main composition is air. Haha! But. Anway. Yep. Facts were put forth in a very interesting manner. It had better man cuz I was feeling darn darn sleepy. Then in the late afternoon we dived! Aha! Cool right! So cool! But in the swimming pool though. Come on, its not like we can go dive in the sea or anything yet, cuz we don't have a licence. Yep. My partner was having problems with it. Not comfortable with "breathing underwater" I suppose. Understandable lah. Had a little of that feeling during the first few moments of my plunge.

Thursday

Second day of the course. Went to the hyperbaric centre along Orchard road. Had a look at the hyperbaric machine, or known to us as the "squasher". What it does is we put an unfortunate victim into the chamber, and watch as the machine pump in air, compressing it, and squeezing the life out of the guy. Aha! No, was kidding bout the "squeeze life" part. Yep. Anyway. When the air is compressed, every gulp of air you take contains more molecules of air. And they give you pure oxygen. So. With more oxygen, you get more respiration, which leads to a greater effectiveness in healing damaged cells. Yep. Quite cool isn't it. Like Wolverine. Haha! Oh, Kai Keat was the "victim" btw.

So we went orchard. To. Buy. Some. Ahahahahaha stuff. For. Mr Yap Yeong Keong. What is it and what its for is not for my disclosure. Yep guys I'm bound by oath. Or rather loyalty. Was reminded of things. Nvm. Just take it all and throw it out of the window. Lanned. Aha. Pats chest. Me. Top-frag. Ha!

Then rushed home, bathed ate and went for rehearsal. After rehearsal played a little ping-pong. Played the King. But we called it "Queen". Hahaha! Funny. Screwed up so much. Argh! Ha! =)

Friday

Rehearsal. Then finally went to Coronation to have my hair cut, then nothing much. Went home. To slack, duh.

Saturday

Went TO rehearsal. Then went home, practised and went for violin lesson. The whole day was playing, playing, playing.

Sunday

Went to Farrer market in the morning for breakfast, then went mass. Went home, slacked, went grandma's house, slacked. Watched My Sassy Girl. Its so S.A.D. Really. Sigh. Thinking of it, and it just wiped the smile of my face. Ok, the smile's back. Went Bugis for dinner.

You notice I've been rushing past the past few days. No time, mom naggin!

Today

Tiring day. Went for rehearsal in the morning. We were to have a gig in the evening, and we only started practising the pieces today! Wonderful organization on Goh's part, but no matter. Goh, brought his son, Titus! Haha! MY GOSH, HE IS SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! I wanna be a dad too! Aha.. Nvm. Yep. His eyes are so cute, my gosh my gosh my gosh. Can't believe his parentage. Aha..... So we were like, "teaching him new vocabulary". LOL!!!! (inside joke) Nvm. Heehee!

Yep at 12 we went for lunch. Some people went KAP, and another group went coronation. I joined the former. So we went. Ate. Sat. Talked. Laughed. Attempted exothermic reaction. Disgusting concoction. I was unlucky enough to have some of it spill on my hand TWICE! Went immediately both times to the toilet to wash off the disgusting thing.

Went back for another round of rehearsals, then when to set up stuff at the Oei Tiong Ham hall. Ok, the gig is for the art manga competition, and the Guest of Honour being Vivian Balakrishnan. Played while they were eating!!! Grrr. Oh, before us was the Wushu drums people. Noisy. And they've been repeating the rhythm over and over again for performances since goodness knows when.

Then ate the leftover buffet! Haha.. The ushers were so extra, didn't let us take from the VIP section. I mean, come on! It's LEFTOVERS!!!!

Then they were screening the preview of the movie "Casshern". Guys. The movie sucks. DONT WATCH IT. I gave you my warning. The visual effects is probably just some cheapskate flash 5. And everything in the movie just doesn't fit ok. Just. An under-funded production. Wasted my time.

So I guess I gotta go.

Yes. Leave everything behind, even myself. I don't matter anymore.

No, I'm not sad!

You know what? Today was absolutely awesome!!! If not for some things that really tarnished it.. But only for a while.

Ok. So in the morning, got woken up by dad cuz we were going to the Sheng Shiong at little India for breakfast. So I bought that breakfast set. And. I was trying to open this really stubborn half boiled egg when it just split open and flowed all over my tray. Urgh! So embarassing. And its not like I don't know how to open eggs! Looked like some parent-spoiled city kid. Which I think I quite am but not to that extent right?!?!

Then we went to this shop in China Town to buy some trousers for my China trip. Wowee. Bought 2 pairs. So cool. Then went to Clementi and bought another pair of track pants and this nice shirt. So cool! An extension of my wron-out wardrobe. Hee!

Came home and practiced a little then went for lesson.

Lesson was. Great! Haha. Like it has always been. Its such a pity. Such a pity its gonna end so soon.. Sigh. Yeap. Finally took a look at my Bach suite. And a little Sevcik. Then. Talk. Haha! That's what violists do best! Talk! Hahahaha! But not about crap though. Definitely. Yeah. And it was here where the day got tarnished. I mean.. It's quite disturbing, though I know I shouldn't be.. But. All the same. I never thought that things could be so serious. Been looking down on my adversary, and I've learnt my lesson.

But I got over it!

I'm talking bout the crap-feeling, not the lesson I learnt! Ha!

Then. Went. Holland Village, NYDC for dinner! Hahahaha! Yummy!! Ate the baked rice. It was so nice! Haha. And was so full after that. Yeap. Came home. Watched a little TV.. Slacked. =D

Under all that glittery smiles and cheerful laughter. I saw the backstabbing. Disgusting. Maybe it was just a false perception, but whatever it is. My guards are up. Don't ask. It could just be you.

Heyy! Hahaha! Feeling so light now!! Yep. Went crazy after friday. Went for rehearsal first. Ahahaha! Playing that 4th symphony noww.. Aiyo.. Those trills in the 3rd movement are like.. Ugh man. Oh welllll. So just sight-read my way through.. And. Goh. Is. Such. An. Idiot. Expects me to sight-read scores, look at the violin 1s and look at him and follow his wierd bowings at the samt time. Like. I'm not superman ok. Whatever lah.

Then I went out!! Hahaha! Everyone dao-ed me in the end lah.. Sigh. But its ok. Was walking around town most of the time. Doing nothing.. Just talking. Ahahahaha. But one thing I've learnt. From all the experience. It doesn't matter what you're doing, but rather, who you're with. And those people who you can just talk and talk and talk with until you run out of saliva.. Yeah.

And thanks for the ggggggggguuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!! =)

Then yesterday.. Oh, the TO lunch-time piece of cow-dung! Haha. Concert. Yeah. Played that pieces from the last out-reaching concert again. Sian lah. But. It was quite fun lah, cuz at least we weren't playing in some dingy lousy school hall this time. But in Victoria. So yeah. Like the resonance. It's fun. And I guess the concert didn't turn out so bad in the end cuz this time people took it seriously. Mmhmm mmhmm. And was having fun in the dressing room with Alphonsus, Daniel Seet, Zhi Xiang. And Daniel Lim. Stupid bugger. Spammed me. And kicked me in the future too. Ahahaha! (inside joke)

So I went home with Wen Yi cuz both of us couldn't get a lift. Hoiii!! Tag meeeee if you're reading this ok!!!

Had a ACJC combined with ACSI and MGS concert.

Went out again and met Zhao Han at coronation, and horrors! The flower shop wasn't open!!! Aah! I was wracking my brains. Where to find? Where to find? Where to find? Then I remembered!! Cold Storage!!! So took a bus. Thought it was the one at KAP. But then suddenly I remembered its the one at 6th avenue!!! And when I did, 6th ave was the next stop so just pressed the bell in time. PHEW. Went. Bought a nice little bouquet. Hey, it's really nice and really cheap ok. 8 bucks. So then I was examining those nice red things. And I realised there were too many leaves. So I unwrapped the thing, and started plucking them out. Both of us got pricked a couple of times. Those thorns are devilish man. Then we went back into CS and asked the nice kind lady to wrap it up for us again. Yay!! And this time she wrapped it up really nicely. The only down thing was the cotton wool at the bottom that was like, this one big bulge. No worries! I just flipped the bouquet over nad dumped out the water. So then it looked like a handle. So cool ok!! Totally rocked.

Walked to the main road again and just hopped on the 74 just in time. Took to ACJC. And it was pouring at that time. Didn't wanna get those precious delicate things wet. So took a cab. Waste of money, but oh well. Then on the cab. Horrors!! I left my wallet on the bus!!! So dropped mr ZH in ACJC and told the driver to go to Buona Vista bus terminal. Went to the driver's depot and asked them to open the bus for me. And. Wow. Found my dear nice wallet back!!!! Yayyyy! I rock! So walked back to AC. And got there LATE. Missed the Chans' Bach Double Violin Concerto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!! Crap on my pants man! Sigh.. So sad k. I got there at the 2nd movement. So just watched at the door. Sigh. At least it's better than nothing. They're good man. Sigh.

Got in at the 'intermission'.

You know I left my ticket at home. But they still let me in anyway in the end lah. So yep. The concert was free anyway.

Then watched Claire De Lune and Tchaikovsky Serenade. Ouch man. Wasn't too good.. The harp part on the Debussy was played with a synthesizer. But anyway. They only had 1 and a half days of rehearsal?! So I guess its really good already.

After the concert. Oh wow. So fun ok! To watch. Had to Crack my brains to get around.. But it was a success in the end! YesYesYes. Guys. I. Just. Rock. Hahahaha! Met Zheng Hao!! Haha.. Long time no see.

Wanted to hang out so just followed the AC and MG people to KAP. I was hungry. Didn't have dinner. So ate. And talked lah. Rather. Watched people talk and scream and laugh. Hahaha.. Daniel Seet was muttering something about sanity. =D

Yep. So I came home. And slept early. Tired. Parents are pissed for my bill. Sigh.

Oh well.

I still rock. =D

"Five Colours In Her Hair"

Do do do do do doo [x3]

She's got a lip ring and 5 colours in her hair,
Not into fashion but I love the clothes she wears,
Her tattoo's always hidden by her underwear.
She don't care.

Everybody wants to know her name,
I threw a house party and she came
Everyone asked me
Who the hell is she?
That weirdo with 5 colours in her hair.

She's just a loner with a sexy attitude,
I'd like to phone her cos she puts me in the mood.
The rumours spreading now that she cooks in the nude.
But she don't care, she don't care.

Everybody wants to know her name,
How does she cope with her new found fame?
Everyone asks me,
Who the hell is she?
That weirdo with 5 colours in her hair.

She was all I thought about,
The girl I couldn't live without.
But then she went insane,
She couldn't take the fame
She said I was to blame
She'd had enough
And shaved five colours off
And now she's just a weirdo with no name.

Everybody wants to know her name.
How does she cope with her new found fame?
Everyone asks me,
Who the hell is she,
That weirdo with 5 colours in her hair.

Do do do do do doo [x3]


Judgement has come!!! Yeah, wish me luck everyone!!! Hahahaha... Yeah. Listening to this really really really upbeat song!!! Hahahaha! Yeap. Gonna sleep. Then tomorrow. Gonna cheeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I crazy?

I'm a weirdo with five colours in muh hair!!!!

Many people've been asking me.. Who i'm scolding.. Asking me to cheer up.

Well.. How can I say. I can't. Cuz. I don't want to say anything here bout anyone. So why do people so persistently bug me? Well.. Is it because you're afraid I'm referring to you? Only thieves are guilty of stealing. So. If you aren't guilty. Then you don't have to worry.

But if you are.

Haha.

I don't care lah. Once I've said it its over. And it's only a matter of time before things like this get forgotten. I haven't held a grudge for a very long time.

And like I've said. I'm perfectly happy. Every moment where I'm not feeling that.. Is a battle lost for me. But I win this 'battle' most of the time anyway.

Yes. 2 days. Can feel the rush of blood. It's coming. Oh yeah. Wheeeyahahah!!

You know what. I'm feeling a little hungry. Oh wells!

On the day it all began,
My heart leapt high, the church bells rang.
I fell on knees and wept in prayer
To the ruler of the kingdom air.

I lived in chaos, I did not know
The seeds of destruction I tried to sow.
But now its come all cheery wild
I finally have become a child.

Now to you who sob and wail.
Remember that path, the devil’s trail?
Why descend to sorrow and woe,
When salvation you already know?

With this in mind, fear not, heed not
The woes of Earth, the Flood and Drought.
Why let these insignificant things lay bare
Your heart and soul to Satan’s lair?

For what is in you is more than love
That mortals seek and understand.
For it come from the highest place above
Only to men who are in the Plan.

And as for me I have realised
All the things which are my prize.
And nothing else can be compared
To the joy and peace I’ll one day share.

So I let go of all things weak.
The extra coin, staff, tunic.
In favour of the work I’m meant.
It had to end, it had to end..

So if you're lonely,
You know I'm here waiting for you..

Blah blah. Eh, what's the title of that song arh? Artist? Someone tell me pleeeeeeease! It's stuck in my head now and it won't go away.. So I'm singing those 2 lines over and over again.. Ahahaha..

YES. MY (note the caps lock) viola section. I repeat the 'MY'. It belongs to ME! Hahahahaha! Yeah! So.. I miss you guys! Haven't been going to rehearsals and sectionals cuz I'm grounded.. But I'll Come Home Soon! Hahaha!

I think I'm falling down,
Down down down.
With a bad case of love,
Love love love.
I think I'm falling for you,
You you you.
I think
I'm falling in love!

With you guys! Hahaha! Hmm. Actually I think I already have, hahaha! And, no, it's just a figure of speech. I'm definitely, 100% not gay.

I think.

Wahahaha, JUST KIDDING!!

You guys remember that time I started screaming at you to "bloody set up your stands in 30seconds or I'll make you do friggin 50 squats each"? Hahaha! I was just kidding lah. Just needed to get your attention and stop wasting time.. Really need all your cooperation then we can thrash all the other sections again, alright? Yeah, viola power! You guys gotta be proud of your instruments!

Hey, if I really meant what I said you guys would have done the squats cuz you took more than 30 secs! ;) Lalala.

Hmm. Second post in a day, whee!

Lesson today was.. Hmm. No technical stuff lah, just. How you say. Theory? Ha!

Viola..

What? The reception here sucks, I can't hear you. Bye.

Haha, perfect way to end a conversation. Hee! Learnt that from this really nice person. You know who you are. Smiles.

Ok.. That's enough. Hope I haven't done damage.. To.. Myself lah, really. Ok ok. That was the last time you'd see something like that.. For a couple of months? Maybe a year? I don't know. I'll see how I'm led. Have to protect..

Shut my doors.

And.. People have been asking me to cheer up and all that, but I really am ok. Promised a certain Someone I'd say this on my next entry: I'm a perfectly happy person.

There may be glitches here and there. But that's because of the past.. And. Whatever. Because like, I said, I'm not supposed to say anything right? Haha! So whatever I say, whatever I've told to those people I've opened up a little bit to these past few months? Ignore me, cuz I could have been talking pure cock. And I'm sorry bout that.. I was just too eager.

Nevermind. I've really gotta stop. Just wanna let you all know..

Countdown.. 4 days left.

Counting.

Guys.. Don't assume anything.. Bout what I write here? Cuz it'd only mislead you.. And yeah. I've got quite a complicated life. So things that may not be what they seem.

And.

I'm not what I seem anyway.

Impish grin.

;)

Crap!! Tag-board's down AGAIN!! So shitty! Hahaha..

Yes. I have decided not not not to use the word 'damn' anymore. Just realised its severity.. Guys, if I ever use it remind me ok? Haha, thanks!

Hmm.. Can only feel all the insults to injury.. Don't think I can't hear the mockery going on behind my back.. The Gleeful smiles as I fall. I'll be back. I promise you. It's so unfair how God deals some people such a great hand of cards.. So. Totally. Unstoppable. And.. They don't deserve it. But noooo.. I won't give up. I may not hold the trump card.. But I'll just keep on going. You won't win again.

Psalm 70

Hasten, O God, to save me;
O Lord, come quickly to help me.
May those who seek my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
May those who say to me, "Aha!
Aha!"
turn back because of their shame.
But may all who seek you;
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your slavation
always say,
"Let God be exalted!"
Yet I am poor and needy;
come quickly to me, O God.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O Lord, do not delay.

I don't want a mere MP3 player. I want one with FM!! Haha! Rocks man. Music rocks.

7 days left then I'll go wild. Haha. Reeeaalllyy wild. Maybe I'll go get a nose-ring. Nonononono. Kidding!

You know what. I got pissed. Real pissed. Last night. When I found out more about things. Got to know who people really are. How they lied and cheated. For what, I don't know. I was friggin played ok. Like another one of those mediacorp studios crap serials.. Totally totally bogus. And I never knew. Never. Never expected. Never. And to think all that effort. Everything I put inside. Physically. Mentally. Darn it. Even spiritually. To think. To think I'm actually the one being blamed? For so-called, committing the exact mistake that you did as well, when I NEVER did. Screw. Have I every right to get pissed? I ask you. And to even think. That I took the blame on my own accord. And perhaps I still do.

So then this morning woke up feeling pissed again. Then I talked to Someone. And.. My goodness. Answers just came flowing in.

"Have I not done enough? Why do things turn out this way after all I've given?"

"Whatever man does is not enough. Philosphies and morals are nothing."

"Why can't I get over it?"

"You lack the faith."

"How do I gain it?"

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

I finally understand. I do I do I do. Not how the world understands.. But the Spirit.

I thank Thee.

Go. Fly away. Please refrain from returning.

Eeeeeeeeeeee! I want an MP3 playerrrrrr!! Ahaha.. Nvm.

Random thoughts.

Raah. Burned. Night escapades with the nice black thing and sheets of paper are killing me. When can I stop hiding. I. Don't. Know. (In a sing-song voice). Ahahaha. At least I know I'm NOT ALONE. Yep. My nice little army.

Mmhmm. Ok. Shall stop. Right.

Here.

Lalala.

Erm.

Do I sound crazy.

Nvm lah.

Haha!

If I claim it doesn’t matter, why do I still feel it? It’s not searing anymore.. Just that dull throbbing. Like when you have a headache. Sometimes I even forget about it. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Bah. Who cares. At least I know I shouldn’t.
Hmm. 4 down, 6 to go. I look forward to it everytime.. Just don’t want such things to end.. And I can just go on and on and on without a sense of time, because nothing else matters as much as this. We’ll grow, all of us. And we’ll pass it on whenever we can. This I promise you.

1. I suck
2. I suck
3. I suck
4. I suck
5. I suck
6. I suck
7. I suck

Take that and multiply by 7(n) where n = infinity, and you've got yours truly.

And that's an understatement.

But I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna be another Matthew Sng.