Hello. Long absence. But Chinese is over. Over. You know what that means? I don't think I needa say. Haha! Whee ha.

Sweet

Smell

Of

Freedom.

Can you smell it? Its distinct fragrance. It wafts through the air, infiltrating every corner of the Earth, filling your heart and mind with a sudden clarity and discernment that the chains that once held you back are broken. Broken! Do you not see and understand this great gift? This privelege. This grace.

Enjoy every moment of it while it lasts my friends! To wallow in the knowledge that tomorrow there are no deadlines to meet, no responsibilities to bear.

Whoo hoo.

=)

Ah well.

Anyway. I for one found the Chinese paper just.. Okay. I mean. My Chinese lousy lah, ok ok?

Heh!

Man. I'm starting to swear like I'm in the army again. Not here of course, lest I get sued.

Squints. Shall catch up on sleep I've been collectively losing since... One month ago. A bit more even, I think.

Hey. Point to note: I'm through with the year. I know my teachers must be really upset, cuz they like me so much but I'm not retaining.

*Beams*

Hee. =D

Anyway.. Onto other random stuff...

Was talking to Dad sometime ago about how being a Chinese you gotta be proud of your culture, you gotta know the language.

Sure. Yeah, I agree. Its a pity if you don't know it well.

But can you blame me?

Look, all my life, though I've been in Chinese schools and all that, I have been experiencing English oriented lessons, English oriented friends, English oriented CCAs, when you switch on the TV its english, when you listen to the radio its English, hell even the vulgarities spray-painted on the void decks are in English.

What did you expect I'd turn out to be?

No, don't be mistaken, I wasn't being scolded. But I'm saying under my circumstances, I had no choice but to be really bad at the language. And I do feel its a pity.

However one thing I detest is this:

You know when you have all the Chinese cultural performances and all that? Its so.. Fake. And we all know that its the past and has absolutely nothing to do with our present lives anymore. Isn't that right? The calligraphy, the dances, the costumes, the music. It has become so separate from our lives that it seems so out of place. And its not just in Singapore, same thing even happens in the Fatherland. Went Guangxi last year. I couldn't feel the slightest sense of culture. Nothing, not in houses, not in streets, not anywhere at all. The performances were so unreal. It wasn't culture at all, just some messed up dance choreography.

Then I look at Vienna. That was different. It was almost as if you were living centuries of history in that city. I'm serious. Their streets were as they were back to the Renaissance. The things people appreciated, the arts, the music, it was all part of them, of what they saw, felt and heard.

Of what they LIVED.

The difference is this: They managed to integrate their culture into their very lives. That's what we need to appreciate fully and to be proud of who we are. Here in Singapore, we are a young nation. We are multi-clutural. We are small. We have no choice but to succumb the wills and might of those towering over us. We have to ADAPT to SURVIVE. In doing so, we open our doors, we invite the infiltration of others, and the dilution of our identity.

That's the problem.

Hello everyone! Nothing much to say here except I've been half-slacking, half-mugging all this while. At a nice leisurely pace and its not bad living really. Haha. Had back the last two papers yesterday, not bad, not bad indeed.

Indeed.

Haha! Everything comes at a cost lah.

Heya changed blog music to as stated above. Brahms Violin Concerto, 2nd movement. Wish he wrote more violin concertos. Haha. Maybe viola ones too.

Just realised that just two more posts and the Vienna one will be kicked out of the main page. After this, just one more. Haha.

But we all move on.

So the exams are over, just one more to go. You know the feeling like everything's gonna be over, and you're just being held back by one irritating thread? Yeah this is it, folks. O'level higher chinese.

Ahahaha. Wasn't any good at that language. Way back till P4. Haha.

So there's nothing much to say except the day-to-day mundane stuff..

Wednesday. After the final exam.. We had to stay back for some CCA and NE thingies that took up so much time. The CCA thingy didn't go too bad. Liked my accumulated points. =)

Then we had back our chem papers and I MUST say I did like crap. No more glistening As. Just a half-polished one that I wonder will pull me up to the required grade.

Then the NE. Nonsensical yet fun in a way. Quite fun to invest in stuff and with help I managed to pull off a master builder grade. So yeah. Free to leave and go after that. Everybody around wanted to LAN but I was pooped after the day. So just went for lunch at KAP and left.

That's about it. Went home, slacked, mug abit of chinese..

Then Thursday. Lenard came over in the morning and we badminton-ed for 2hours. Legs still aching now. Then tried to find people but nobody seemed free. Went pooling at BTP by our lonesome selves but still fun lah. After an hour we ended up in KAP eating icecream and talking a whole load of cock. Spied Ying Tse at the Video Ezy. With her mom? I think.

Then after that. Just went home. Mugged/Slacked.

That's about all the "interesting" stuff that's been happening.. Its starting to get a little boring as I type this. Yuck. I realise I'm just blabbering.

True there's always something to do. But it doesn't mean others will find what you're doing interesting anyway. At least to me, just staring into the nice blue sky for hours on end would probably be quite interesting. Got moving clouds right? Nice what.

I'm back to practicing like I'm gonna lose my instruments the very next day. But its fun. Yeah, fun.

Yesterday's trip to Little India was... Tiring. Walking along, with nothing much to see really. Feel the same way about China Town during the CNY. Just people. Nothing interesting to see. Just ornamental stuff, traditional stuff that I know I wouldn't use for the sheer reason that it looks incredibly OBIANG whether its chinese, hindu or malay.

Back to blabbering. Ah well. I shall mug Chinese again lah. Please don't call me a mugger. Heaven knows I'm bloody not.

Hello. So I haven't been posting much.. Just that with exams, its a tight schedule. So there're certain things that you just have to cut back on and this is, unfortunately, one of them.

Haha.. How I've grown. Now this blog.. Its like an empty shell that I've broken from, and when I look down.. At least I'm reminded of where I came from, what I've been doing.

Every new post is a new instance of breaking free.

Not that I need to post to be free. Its just like.. How everyday is a completely NEW day where the past iniquities are washed away, and its a brand new slate for me. "New". Its a great word.

And its a great life. Have fun all you guys!

Hmm? Blogger seems screwed again. Anyway best of luck to everyone for exams and any other endeavours yeah? May victory guide your paths.

I searched in vain in barren lands
Looking for what pirates seek.
Truding through the dreadful days
My soul and heart would weep.

I could not find, I did not know
Even what I sought, I searched.
And vultures high above the air
And naked branch, would perch.

It came to me, one day, it did
After years of sweat and toil
The greatest gift that one could have
That devils' plans will foil.

So now I smile.

I hope you will too.

Hmm. Blogger is a bit screwed now.. But there's still some lil' textbox here and I guess it'll suffice to type.

So there's nothing much going on except that I haven't been mugging hard enough. I think I try too hard and trust too little. I shall trust more.

And I hope this commitment goes all the way and roots right to the centre of my heart and things.. They just have no choice but to become simple nad easy, cuz they all don't matter anymore.

So I say this to all who are troubled, all who are in worry. All who have met setbacks and disappointments, conflicts and harsh judgements.

Why do you worry, why do you cry? Why do you feel that the world is upon you at your heels, waiting to devour your very being and soul at the slip up your foot? Why do you feel that everything you do isn't enough, doesn't help, brings you no where? Why do you feel devalued and worthless?

Do you really have to feel this way? Do you really have to wallow in self-pity and sorrow? Do you have no choice but to wake up in tears every morning because of the uncertainty daybreak brings? Do you have to feel worthless, cherishing thoughts of decay in your minds until life melds into death?

Does all this add a minute to your life? I ask not for a minute, but all for second.

Does it?

Now go to a mirror and take a look. Who is looking back at you? Do you see the hollowness in that person's eyes? If you do, then know this. You have filled your life with the emptiness of your thoughts, the void of your sorrow.

Now turn around and look your window. Do you see the stars? Do you see the clouds? Do you see the sun peeking through the distant hilltops?

Do you not notice their beauty?

Then know this.

You may be cursed, you may be wretched. You may be worthless and despicable. But where there is a breath in life in you, there is always Hope.

And I pray you will find what you're truly searching for. May this darkness that surrounds your life be bound this instance, that you may see, and understand that life is worth living. Death is vile and eternal. Once it comes, you will cease to have the oppotunity to experience the true happiness and peace you so very much desire. Does this not apply to every single one of you?

So now hold on to the fact that you are meant for something much much more. Then let these trials and tribulations pass and fade. I hope you time will come, and when it does, I pray that you will see and grab onto it.

Farewell.

There are certain things i don't think I'll ever ever be able to do in my entire lifetime. I'll list three:

1. Lick my either of my elbows
2. Pwn Heifetz
3. eveilebsid elpoep yhw dnatsrednu

Latin? Go figure it yourself.

Breathes deeply.

Nothing much to say here except the strains of exams are really kicking in, people in class are really starting to vent their frustrations in random acts of violence, like mongol, no-bars-held wrestling on the hard tiles. Yes I joined in a few to get the feel of it and ripped my pants. Ah ah embarrassing. =D

Besides all that something really cool has happened. Dad went for the parent teacher meeting and he came home impressed that every teacher was singing my praises.

Like woah??! Its me you're talking about you know. Sng Tiap Yang? You sure anot. The guy who never does homework, doesn't study for tests, show attitude when he "buay-song", cracks the class up in uncontrollable laughter every other sentence that the teacher utters.

Sure anot?

Haha. I'm surprised, really am. And a pleasant one too. =)

How many more surprises and blessings that come my way, I await to see. My only request is that I open my eyes to see the things around me that I so often take for granted. And that I will never lose hold of who I am to all these people, to myself, and to the world. May this fact remain in my heart for as long as I live on this earth. And beyond as well.

Hello world. =)

Brahms Academic. Never fails to bring the ecstasy and triumph of a fairy tale back once again.

Enjoy.

Hello. Its been quite a bit of time. Hmm. But its been quite an uneventful period of time except the fact that I've learnt a lot of lessons and a lot of things have become cyrstal clear. These things I can't put on my blog so too bad guys you'll just have to be left in the dark. =P

I just hope I don't lose hold of all of it, that's all. It, rather.

The Shadows

They come and go,
They flicker, fly.
Running upon the barren walls
They haunt the night.

Racing through the barreness
Of minds and hearts, unkempt, unbred
Taking flight in hidden fears
And anger, wrath imbed.

Hmm. Just came out with that with no heck of an inspiration at all hope it makes sense. Haha. Anyhow. Please don't pollute my tag-board I beg of you!!

On to bed my friends.

Mugging, mugging and more mugging.

Oh and parents finally let me go for SNYO rehearsals! I wonder. The power and awe of communication. Yes, nods.

Ok I'm ranting. That's because there isn't much to say ANYWAY. Haha!

Tah tah, then me hearties and smile!

=)

Do you remember the times we shared?
On those winding, long and rainy roads.
We talked and laughed and shared our lives
And no one cared.

I remember the darkened corridors
We walked in search for warming springs
We’d walk side by side along the way
Our youth and love would sing.

But now those times have come and gone
And we’ve each walked our separate ways.
Had hardly a time to say goodbye...
The memories will grey.

Nothing much to say here..

Don't think I'll be blogging much cuz life from now will be just mugging and mugging. I screwed up the last term. And I'm really really pissed about it. I hate it when I know I can do something, but I just don't cuz circumstances just don't permit me to. Or maybe its just an excuse for me slacking I don't know. But I do blame myself for it. Ack. Screw man I don't wanna get retained.

Hmm.

Anyway. Certain highlights of the past week.

Teacher's Day eve. Went to school. Was almost late so I ran up the hill to the terraces and started sweating like mad. And the sun was scorching. And heard Ang rambling on in his horribly ungrammatical english. It was living hell, really. Then went for the concert.. Ah ah ah terrible terrible. Can't remember any strikingly good performances... After the suffering went to the orch room and met up with a few others... Shaun came. Played chapteh, fiddled around with hald broken violins and violas. Doublebass. Then dragged Alan along with me to the staffroom to give away the ferreros I bought the day before. Went there and I'm telling you that I've never ever seen so so many people in the staffroom before! All alumni and students. Well. Only managed to give to dear Teck Huat cuz his table was really close to the door. Haha. Then I just hecked care and left and shared out the rest of my chocolate back in the room. Rather, everyone took the cue and helped themselves to it.

Went for lunch at coronation, picked up Teng along the way. Prince. Ate. Lazed around in the cafe talking rubbish about different scandals and all that rubbish =D until the owner chased us out cuz we weren't eating and taking space.

Then left coronation and went to the bus stop opposite and started arguing about where to go. Decided to go ZhiXiang's place. So we took the bus. Then halfway I decided to go Shaun's place first then go ZX's cuz Shaun was going home to bathe and change first and I wanted to cope scores. Oh, and by the way there was this Indian guy who got pissed with us for blocking the exit of the door, which was completely accidental, and he looked like he was ready to fight. Idiot. Didn't even have the balls to maintain eye contact with me and he wanted to fight? Loser. Haha.

So we alighted off the bus and started walking... Wah piang quite a long walk you know. And his house is like right in the middle of no where but hey that has its advantages too. Peaceful, quiet. Quite a nice place.

Went to his room turned on the aircon, and the comp and started slacking, playing hearts, NBA Live, surfing net, goofing with his composing software, listening to recordings. Good ones and bad ones. Bad ones being those of Qian Zhou which were... Geez. Horrible.

Haha! So before I knew it it was 7 already. Quite a nice place to slack!! Didn't go to ZX's in the end.. Haha.. Shaun wanted to sleep and I wanted the comfort of the aircon and comp. Wah hahaha!

Shall go to his place again maybe tomorrow or something to mug!! With Lenard. Hee. We have collaborated to bond him and torture his rabbit. Whee!! =D

Oh then there was the Ortus Night thingy.. But I shall proceed to practicing first for lesson later before going to that, so bye bye for now!!

To: Bjorn and all other juniors in TCHS Strings

Yes, I'll miss you guys as much too. I guess its the only reason that's drawing me back to the orchestra room even though graduation is over and done with. And when I see everyone with that discipline, and the various leaders giving their all... I can tell you that all of us seniors feel completely at ease, that this orchestra has a much longer and fruitful journey ahead. And of course I do hope that you'll achieve great things. But all the same I do want to stress as well that no matter how many medals you win, or goals you achieve, victories you attain.. In the end its still the experience that matters, the friends and relationships that you establish, that really makes all the difference. The way I know that whenever I take those steps toward that orchestra room, I know I'm walking
towards a place where warmth and love and the zeal for fun and friendship can be found.

Yeah yeah our "2nd home" and all that cliche bullshit does come to mind but really, its true.

To sec3 seniors and other committee members: I'm really impressed at the way things have begun to take shape and how everything's running smoothly. You guys are doing a far better job than I ever did. Which was nuts, really.

And to everyone else thanks once again and best of luck and circumstances for future endeavours. Haha. Feels quite weird that I'm no longer a part of this anymore but oh well.

And also, yes, let us toast to the OWNAGE of raffles strings (I'm sorry RISE friends, but there has to come a time where I have to eventually take sides. hee.) yet another time and more times to come in the future. It was bleak before, but definitely not now. =)

Farewell.

Ages come and go
I emerge alone with the passing time...
Watching faces as they come
And as they pass.
I wonder if one day
Could we all just settle down
And ignore the rains and storms
As they beat down all around us.
And live in our world.
Our World.