Just bathed from my jog and feeling damn good. Never had a run like this in a long time, where the only objective was to run. No timings to meet, no goals to hit. It's absolutely mind clearing, exhilarating. Caught a dandelion and wished happiness on everyone. As for myself, I'll be finding my own way.

Day 2 of my road trip and its looking pretty damn good!!

Yesterday hit 20:17 for 5km on a treadmill. Very, very satisfied. If my life is all about eating, sleeping, mugging and running, then end it now for I am a complete man.

I hate it when they do things like that. It makes me look at myself and wonder if I have inherited a genetic disposition to being an arguable prick.

And the protector becomes the protected. I can only hope that I am able.

The day started off well enough for him.

He increasingly found himself searching for something that he knew he never could find.

Walking down the South Bank, on his own for really the very first time.

The river glistened, like the thousand tear drops that were shed, and those that should have been but never did.

Empty faces, discordance, chaos, amidst the beautiful shades of forever.

The wind clawed at his skin, threatening to tear his heart out, but he was well guarded from the cold. He had created a way to survive.

All the time, thinking foolishly of what is forbidden.

It gets tiring when all you can do to keep sane is chase your own shadow.

Was scolded by mom today for being escapist. For running away from responsibility and hardship. And even though I really think I tried my best, it plants doubts in my mind.

There are some things which you just can't bring back to life. You just carry on with life with the burden of having made a mistake forever borne in your heart.

I want to have lived a life with as little emotional baggage as possible.

So I try to hide away from that little ray of sunshine because I don't know if it'll ever accept me for what I am about. I don't feel deserving either.

It's so much easier to run.

Gotta love PCL.

Another VESPA, another opportunity to flaunt my ignorance.

Are there really things that I know that others might have left out?

Need to keep believing that I'm not the resident idiot. That there will always be fight left in me.

Thank god for family.

ENOUGH EMO. Time waits for no man. I still don't know what I'm doing but I'm so freaking good at not giving a rat's ass. At least now the red seas are parting and it's not a big blob of adipose tissue anymore. Rocks.

Had HTHT with Ming yesterday.

I didn't know I was causing so much trouble for my friends. I used to think I had all the answers, I had it all going for me, that I'd be the one extending my hand out to others.

Arrogant and myopic have I been, who am I trying to kid.

I really don't know if I have a problem. Well I think I'm okay. Maybe I just miss bitching about every single damn thing. But it's true that 3rd parties always see better. Is there something I'm missing?

At last I'm able to put it into words. I've left EVERYTHING behind, my life, my music, my love. I've changed and nothing's the same anymore. I learnt not long ago that sometimes life makes you give up the things that you love. I'm not complaining. But really, WHAT AM I ABOUT NOW ? I'm not sure about anything I'm doing. I'm not even sure of what I am. Am I a monster, a freak, an anorexic ?

It doesn't really matter though. As long as I get my priorities right and do my loved ones proud. Not be a burden. Not be a narcissistic jackshit. It's just that I'm not confident I can do it. I've been such an underachiever, slacker and procrastinator all my life.

Really just want to be good at something for a change. I don't have to love it, it's really just a bonus.

Just so sian when I think about it.

Thinking of what I've given up makes it worse. But really, what can I do. I can't be a wreck forever.

A very good day to you, dearest blog. How long have you been sitting here waiting for me? It feels good to know that you've always been waiting for my inevitable return. It seems like you've seen my every thought, witnessed my every move. And you know me inside out, like a hc bio student knows campbell's.

Like anybody else I'm just trying to be happy. And I'm pretty confident that no matter which direction I take, I'll find it. The gray clouds cover the sun sometimes but you gotta keep hoping that you'll see that golden ray again, change is gonna come.

i told someone today that life's all about letting go and moving on.

perhaps i should take it back because life is much much more than that. it's just so big a thing that i can't possibly summarize it within this blog. anyhow right now there's alot of living in moments going on for me.

i'd like to talk about a little something. there's this little song that's been getting me through when i don't have my phone beside me (you know why).



suddenly my fav song in the album.

sometimes it brings tears but every time you cry, you get a little stronger. just can't sit there and let the world pass you by in self-pity. that'd be just tragic.

tomorrow you book in again. yet you're optimistic that you'll be able to last through. confident that while life goes on outside without you, you won't be forgotten, that there's a place for you to return to. then you feel touched beyond description that there are people willing to do everything they can to accommodate you, even at their own expense.

staring as i sit on the jarring steel steed,
watching eyes of devilish red stab the dark hues of night.
trees pass me by like solitary pilgrims
going on and on to face their loneliness.
yes, their loneliness till their death
they face ceaselessly, perpetually.
be happy and thankful you don't
and will never face the same fate.

beauty comes and fades but not the sweet scent of true love.

back from hell on earth.

its been such a long time. can only hope that where i am, i'll finally learn a few lessons on perseverance and humility. watching the planes pass by as others fly off to meet the sunrise while we're stuck on limbo isn't the most enviable feeling.

in any case there's still the blessed sea. it reflects the colour of the skies, and is capable of existing in the most stunning blue. perhaps its the only thing noting and remembering in this whole experience.

but whatever. my life starts and ends during the weekend, with nothing left in between.

went to PS today. what a wonderful day. diving bell and the butterfly is such a fascinating show. wish i had a more literary mind to appreciate it further!

then there was the park and there was you, and suddenly all is right in the world

nothing much to say about taiwan.

realised that there was this HC person called yi huang there and to think that i don't even recognize her! so interesting.

bought some nice new clothes.

ok going NS in err 2.5hrs. so excited.

will miss you. thanks for yesterday. love you.

in taiwan now..

ok things are a bit sian cos most of the time and - i really mean that literally - is spent on the bus travelling my ass around the entire island. haven't stopped at a place for more than an hour except for meals, hotels and shopping at night. haven't really seen much of taiwan yet so pls dont ask me how it is here.

ok just exaggerating the last bit but hmm its not that there's nothing much to see, there is ALOT to. just that in tour groups you don't really see anything. so pls do NOT attempt to go on tour groups. you have been warned.

in general, the weather here is nice and cool. really enjoying it. though there has been warnings of extreme cold weather tmr, 7degs!! YIKES. hope i dont freeze my butt off.

everyday eating and sleeping (on the bus). the equation that defines pigs. that which is me. feel the lipids build!

the tourguide is damn funny thanks :)

loved the hotel we stayed in during 2nd night. damn shuang. big spacious room! nice hotel food.

happy that i finally own my first pair of jeans tonight.

ok sleep beckons.

dear. you know i miss you too. like crazy.

that just feels so... hmm. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. i think im not gonna have the luxury of a computer tmr.

worst thing about this trip is not being able to spend it with you eh? :/

leaving tmr morn, gotta wake up at 5am which makes one wonder, what the hell am i doing awake at this time?

lan was fun today haven't played such an exciting game in a loong long time.

ok, take care everyone.

"oh you couldn't really stun anyone 'cos you were all the time... sort of... dead."

<3.

hello world i am BACK!

its been nearly 2 years! a long 2 years its been. love HC. love everything that's ever happened and im glad i didn't go to (gosh) raffles. yuck!

about xmas: its all about the decorations and the lights! love lights. especially when they glitter and shine off smooth porcelain, glass or plastic surfaces. those belonging to xmas decor, that is! so lovely.

a question! is it nicer when the lights are in a single colour (usually a pale blue or yellow hue) or a rojak of all colours? i thought about it maybe its got more to do with the hanging decorations and complementing them.

its been the most peaceful xmas in my life. absolutely serene. no undercurrents, no worries. just plain love and companionship and a faint little touch of I Am Legend. =)

its good. just watch it. haven't have had such a emotional attachment to fantasy in a long long time. i think the leader of the monsters looks like Ty Pennington! the host of extreme makeover home edition. anyway the monsters are simply adorable. they jump outta nowhere when you're in a dark lonely place to give you hugs!!

love my new wallet just love everything :)

taiwan soon. land of earthquakes, dirty politics and jay chou.

oh you're just so over her man.

"i like fat birds who sit in cages all day long to eat and sleep."

OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE IM DOING THIS BUT I AM IM BLOGGING.

WAH LAO.

THINGS HAVE CHANGED, ALOT OF THEM.

I THINK THEY'LL ALWAYS KEEP CHANGING BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT LIFE-TIME IS ABOUT.

I have no idea what to say, HA, so I shall just keep my mouth shut.

If only you could see, you could hear, I could tell and we could be then oh sky above now come to me and bring this hope past eternity WOO HOO.