Been a long long time.. Been watching time slip through my fingers.. Its never coming back that's what hurts. But I just want time to indulge, to enjoy the freedom of nothingness.. Life seems to be accelerating exponentially, never letting you stop to enjoy the simple things offered to you, to smell the flowers, feel the wind, hear the birdsong.

Sigh.

Endless mires of trouble keep seeming to end up at my feet pestering me for attention. I wonder when it will ever be my turn to hurl them around. Not that I'll ever need the chance but. I do wonder who would stop for me, who would stay if I needed it?

No one did.

Not that it mattered but its nice to wonder.

Many nice things have been happening.. Things that I want to remember.

The HC concert. I had lots of fun. Octet and everything.. Its set a new benchmark for entertainment during chamber practices and things just never seem to be the same after that. American seems boring all of a sudden. The post-concert party was a flop though. I don't feel like blaming people. I just want to forget all about it.

Hilary Hahn concert. She was fantastic, jawdropping. What I'd give to play just half as well as her. Ah the evergreen dreams of musicians, always fantasizing for perfection. But anyway I loved Rachmaninov's symphony as well SSO played its best I've ever seen. Maybe its because I never go for theur concerts on a regular basis? Hmm. Oh and Hahn played in 2nd violins for the symphony. Only noticed at the end of everything.. Was really funny arguing with alan about it. Also. Had ticket trouble before the concert and missed the first piece. But most importantly caught Hahn in all her glory. Shared jelly beans during the intermission. Helped people take pictures after the thing tried to buy a CD and an autograph but they ran out of stock.

There was the Chinese drama play? It was really amusing really funny. The dance choreographer did a crap job but it was really fun cracking jokes at the back and everything screaming "Dong Dong" after the show. It was fun come to think of despite all previous forebodings. Also had the end-of-term activity that day.. Chose Hip-hop dancing out of everything. It was the cheapest and half the class chose it so went for it. The instructor was a faggot. Really couldn’t stand him. He’s a beng, so I guess that explains it. But I guess it was still fun anyway after everything.. Hmm. Wonder if I still remember my dance moves.. Doubt it. Took away ban mian for lunch.

Yesterday.. Went to sentosa with the strings for the balloon hats festival CIP rendezvous. It was a total flop. We sold about one balloon. But you couldn’t blame us it was FIVE dollars. Walked around for one hour trying to sell. Hopped on a moving tram and got scolded by the driver. Nice stunt though. Mmh. Attracted lots of staring. Heh. So after that hour we had free and easy for the rest of the time but we’re still going to count as 6hours plus. Haha. Played cards, threw some ball, walked around siloso beach, bought food at seven-11. Just lazed around. I think it was fun. I like lazing around anyway. Went to uncles house after that for a bbq. Was too full to eat much. Got bored and fell asleep on the sofa.

I wish I could help. I wish I wasn’t such a weakling.