Everything's got its time and place. And mine definitely isn't in music. Was playing together with a wonderful group of talented friends when suddenly something just popped in my head : what the hell am I doing here?

I don't know. I feel like a fool! And I've gone through it in my mind over and over again. Is is to improve? No, I ain't getting anywhere? For contributing, putting in what I'm worth? No. As far as I'm concerned Im worth nothing.

For the love of music?

Aah. That would have been a good reason to keep me going. But now.. I've been cheated again and again by my own feelings and affections for music.. It takes up so so so much time, energy, emotions. I can't give anymore..

I think I'll be an engineer. Then I'll retire as farmer in Australia!! Yeah, that's nice. I'll go convince Lenard to farm with me. I like sheep and cows. Moo.